The Vacation Called Life

BACK

2012-01-29T10:01:00.001-05:00

Hello, guys!

I am back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. That sentence deserved that many exclamation points.

Sorry I haven't been posting! I mean REALLY sorry. Lots has happened at school.

For one thing, I will start off by how I smashed my fingers twice this week so I am having a little bit of trouble typing; second THEY CLOSED MY LASAGNA SHOP.

For those of you new to the game I am a lasagna FREAK. They actually closed it a long time ago, but I just thought I'd mention it.

I teared up as I made that picture.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Well, now that THAT'S out of my system, let's get back to business.

I love my iPad so much I have played on it every day since Christmas. I have racked up $27,000 on my Skyburger app, which is a total of 15 HOURS on Skyburger.

When I realized that those hours could've been spent blogging I decided to come right back here and write a blogpost, which is just what I'm doing!

So. Austin, my dog, weighs more than me now.

I am growing 4 inches a year about, but I want to stop so Austin can get bigger and....

My hair has grown just long enough for me to put it in a ponytail, so I have a new rule that whenever I am blogging with a ponytail in my hair I will draw Jane like this:

And it varies. Sometimes I have my ponytail in different places.

Stuff like that.

It's a new thing for me.

In fact, it's a new ME.

Have you noticed?

2012, BABY!!

Time to live life to the fullest, cuz the world is NOT GOING TO END.

Stupid Mayans. What would a bunch of old, dead guys know anyway? So they made a calender. They were just too lazy to finish it. Plus, it's HARD. Have you ever tried it without the Internet? They just wanted whoever was in the future (us) to go ahead and finish it FOR them.

So the next time someone says to you 'The world is gonna end!' say,

"All right, well in that case give me your money, house, dog, cat, cheerleader, lamp, because you won't be needing them, right?"

Alrighty. Back to biz.

CALL ME MRS. JANE WRITERPERSON!!!

Mrs.? Nah, I'm 11.

CALL ME MISS JANE WRITERPERSON!!!

You're not going to believe this... but...

BUT...

*excited gasps*

I HAVE WRITTEN 115 PAGES ON A STORY!!!

GOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!

Mom and I are already talking about getting it published, and I haven't even gotten to the part where she gets kidnapped!

Well, sorceress-napped.

SPOILER ALERT

Wait... you're supposed to say it before you say what you're spoiling...

Oh well.

I am SOOO SOOOO SOOO SOOO SOOOOOOOO happy!!

And even as I become THE BESTEST WRITER IN THE WORLD I will not forget about my blog. Be on the lookout for here-and-there posts, and I promise I will try my bestest to post.

Again, I'm sorry for not posting.

--Jane

PS:

iPad!!!!!

2011-12-26T10:48:00.002-05:00

I am going to write a longer post about my iPad on my computer so I'll make this short (even though I'm having fun typing on my iPad right now): I will never, EVER, I swear on my life that I will NEVER blog on my iPad.

I can't even attach the horrible picture I made of Jane! I had to scribble to fill her in, her skin was yellow, and her hair was orange!!!! Never, dear readers, I promise.

--Jane

He Came!

2011-12-25T05:57:00.005-05:00

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Now, I have a half hour to write this. Mom said that I could only wake her up at 6:30, Ana at 7:30. And it is 5:57 right now so I have a little while. I just woke up.

I'm betting he came, reader! I'm betting my presents are down there RIGHT EXACTLY NOW!!

Behind that curtain is a land of opportunities, reader.

Now, I'm a little sleepy so forgive me if I garble. I have never slept like this on Christmas Eve and still be so tired.

Oh!! 6:00!!! A half hour!!

Happy Birthday, Jesus!!

OH MY MONKEYS SANTA HAS COME!!! SANTA HAS COME!!!

Despite the fact that I was up until the Santa NORAD Tracker said that his next stop is Long Island. HE STILL HAD TO COME.

I'm on to Daddy's tricks. We moved in the summer to this house and my room is right next to the attic, and I heard him bumping around in there. He hides presents in there. Next year I will search. BUT I CAN'T. So I won't.

At our old house in 2009 I got a drum set, and I'm betting Daddy couldn't hide that and so many other presents from Santa in that teeny attic, so it had to be the real Santa.

OH OH OH!!!

I'M SO EXCITED!

Jane has Elvis sideburns in that one.

Sorry, I was going to make a background but, ahh, 6:10!! CREEPING CLOSER... 20 minutes, reader! Ohmigosh! If it's awesome I will write another post about it. 3 posts after a month. I think you guys deserve that.

When I was little I used to hate black and white movies, because I could never tell what was going on. Now I'm totally hooked.

We watched It's a Wonderful Life, The (Somebody's) Wife, and last night we saw The Miracle on 34th street.

I checked the tracker as soon as the movie was over and it said SANTA'S NEXT STOP: Something, Long Island!

I can't remember whose wife was it and where he was going to make his next stop.

I JUST CHECKED NORAD AND IT SAID HE COMPLETED HIS FLIGHT. HE HAD TO BE HERE! HOORAY!!!

*Gasp*

My stockings are closer than the presents. I'll pick that up on my way to my parent's room.

6:13!!!

Oh my goodness we left Santa a feast of cookies! He had to give us extra presents! And Daddy told me that he had some secret mischief for Mom. What could it be?

The Feast of Christmas:

AHHH!! 6:21!!! I have to go, reader! This chat was heavenly! BYE!!!

--Jane

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T12:29:00.014-05:00

IT'S BEEN A MONTH.

It's been a month since I last posted, and you guys have STILL been checking in.

I love you guys.

So. Obviously, it's Christmas.

I made a promise to myself that there would be NO ELECTRONICS ON CHRISTMAS OR CHRISTMAS EVE. NONE.

I just can't keep that promise. I have to see my people.

This will be published tomorrow (Christmas) or today (Christmas Eve) I promise. I promise.

I have actually been working on a blogpost called Cats since November 11th, and so far I have used eight shades of gray. That's a bit wrong.

But, nevertheless, I'm back, I'm 11 years old, I'm still Jane and LET'S PARTY!!
It's Christmas Eve, for monkeys' sake! What else would I be doing?

Okay, maybe that..

And... and that... but...

Okay, that too.

But the point is, I'm here. I could be elsewhere, but I chose to be here. Sitting on a couch, not even dressed, putting off a shower while Thomas snores next to me.

Thomas is my cat.

Mom's busy at the kitchen making our turkey dinner, Ana's in her room on her computer, (NO ELECTRONICS ANA. YES. I CAN SEE YOU.) and Dad's at the grocery store. There are presents under the tree...Thomas is still snoring...

So I'm just waiting for something to write about.

...

Thomas just shifted his position.

...

Booboobooboobooooooo dee doodoo

Oh great, now I'm singing.

DADDY, TURN THE TV OFF.

Normally I have sort of a script for blogposts but I'm writing this from scratch. I'll write another one if I can't sleep while I'm staying up for Santa, so there's a 98% chance there will be two blogposts after a month of... emptiness...

Oh, I've been writing a story.

So... yeah.

So yeah.

I'll see you tonight.

--Jane

;)
:)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Random Picture Of The Week

2011-11-23T11:54:00.001-05:00

Random picture of the week:

A new post is coming out soon.

--Jane

Random Picture Of The Week

2011-11-17T18:45:00.002-05:00

OMG! Guys, I know these random pictures are getting boring. I'm just SO BUSY!!! I've got school and stress, and I'm taking a trip to San Fransisco for Thanksgiving!!!

I swear a new post will come out soon. I'm so sorry.

Thanksgiving dinosaur:

--Jane

Random Picture Of The Week

2011-11-07T17:53:00.003-05:00

Random picture of the week:

Hiking

--Jane

Random Picture Of The Week

2011-11-05T07:36:00.002-04:00

Random picture of the week:

Blogging
--Jane

Fish

2011-10-29T11:30:00.000-04:00

Warning: You should not read this post when you're eating. Or breathing. Or living.

I love fishing. It's just that I have a crippling weakness for the fish, and whenever I catch one I have to throw it back. The hard part is explaining it to my dad.

DAD: Jane! That was a beautiful catch! Why did you throw it back?

ME: It was too little.

DAD: It was a foot long!

ME: Well, that's too little.

And then there was The Fluke.

I was having a really good day. Fishing with Dad and my Grandad.

Nothing we caught was very good, so I decided to name them.

ME: We've had 2 sea robins and four flukes.

GRANDADDY: I got a bite!

We reeled him in.

DAD: What a specimen!ME: He's nice. Now throw him back.

GRANDADDY, TO THE CAPTAIN: Is he legal?

CAPTAIN: He sure looks legal.

ME, TUGGING ON GRANDADDY'S HAND: Throw him back, Grandaddy.

DAD: You hear that, Janie? We just caught our dinner.

ME: Throw him back!

GRANDADDY: Naw, we gonna eat him.

ME: Great. His name will be...

DAD: Don't do that or you'll feel sad when we eat him.

ME: Eat him?!

They stored him under the bench. As I fished, I could hear him flopping about, gasping.
Finally, they put him in some water. He lay there, looking at me.

I waited inside the cabin when they took him to gut him and tear off his skin.

This is probably one of the most violent blog posts ever.

I also just called him The Fluke because Dad said I couldn't name him.

So anyway, we brought his remains home, cooked him, and ate him.

So, after The Fluke...

I think I'll stick to lobster.

--Jane

Random Picture Of The Week

2011-10-26T16:54:00.002-04:00

My friends from LISG are reading here tonight, so hey Sara O., Jolie B., Olivia W., Parsa L., and Sydnie R.!!

Baby Jane:

--Jane

Random Pictures (Literally)

2011-10-21T06:55:00.000-04:00

School is working me to the bone so my posts are taking me like FOREVER to do, so maybe I should just post pictures that I've made but never shown on my blog before.

--Jane

PS: More of these may come out if I'm bored or something. Hope you liked it! In my opinion this is one of the best things I've ever posted.

PSS: I just sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs.

Random Picture Of The Week

2011-10-20T17:01:00.001-04:00

Random picture of the week:

Fancy Jane

--Jane

I AM 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-10-11T14:19:00.003-04:00

BOO YA! 11!!!!

I got out from school early so I'll fill you in on all that happened, but I don't have time to draw pictures. I will if I can, soon.

1. I came home

2. I saw the cake

3. I worshipped the cake

4. I helped Mom frost the cake

5. Mom put Hershey bar chunks on the cake and I worshipped Mom

6. I saw the pile of presents on the table for my annual 'hide the presents and find the presents'

7. I read some Spidergirl.

8. Mom's foot hurt

9. I proofred my blogpost

10. I went upstairs (I put a marker on my desk so I could look at it and say, 'hey, I put that there while I was 10!').

11. I snuggled Bee

12. I walked downstairs with Bee on my head

13. I got on my computer

14. I shut down my computer, as I do monthly

15. I reopened all of my tabs and stories

16. I opened up Statcounter to see how many people had visited my blog

17. I read my comments on my last post

18. I watched digital art painting on Youtube

19. I stopped.

20. I'm here.

Good, huh?

Random picture of the week: Ninja Jane

Mom said that if I came home and spent time with my grandmother I could come home early, so I have to do that. I'll come back later and add pictures.

It may take a while, it's my birthday, after all. :)

--Jane

11 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-10-10T09:15:00.001-04:00

Geez, I never thought I'd be eleven years old.

I mean, I've imagined being 20, but I never thought about all those numbers in between.

What is happening to me? Where is my life going? I'm a young woman now, not a little girl.

Should I accept my new responsibilities with pride or hang onto childhood as long as I can?

Answer:

I think I'll stay a kid for a while.

HEY, EVERYBODY!

Isn't this fantastic? It's my birthday! And you know what that means...

GETTING EVERYBODY TOGETHER FOR A PARTY!!

I'm pretty lonely in my new house, I know some neighbors that are my age but still feel pretty alone.

Sooo... meet Rocky.I had been playing around in my new pool and had needed something to dive for, so I grabbed a rock and ever since then we've been friends.

I can't believe I'm actually saying this... but... I had tea with a rock. I guess I am a bit lonely...

BREAKING LIFE-CHANGING NEWS

I asked for a cell phone for my birthday and Mom and Dad are 75% yes on it!! Can you imagine??

I will be blogging with a cell phone now!!!!!!!!!!
:)

Okay. So, my grandparents are visiting for my birthday, on the 11th, and my cousin Robin can only stay to the 7th but still.

I went swimming in a 74 degree pool today, and Mom popped me in the hot tub afterwards.

UPDATE: My cousin PJ has arrived too. He doesn't like to have his picture taken, or drawn, but I'm gonna do it anyway.UPDATE: PJ, Robin, Jerry and Dad are all working on Ana's new bed while Ana reads in the hottub.

UPDATE: I am eating Cheerios.

I think I'm gonna even take my birthday off from SCHOOL!!

It'll be like::) :) :)

I guess I should practice texting since I'll be getting a phone.

Robin got me sum fantabulous magnetic ballz!!

i can do things ive never done b4: like that 4k neklace!

Get it? 4k? Fork?

So how am I doing? Do I have this texting thing down?

I can just imagine how it will be when I get my phone:

UPDATE: I've got an ear infection!!! This is my 3rd sick day, and so mom says that I probably can't take my day off!

Also, my grandparents will be in the city, Dad will be at work, and Ana at school!

I can't believe it! I thought this was going to be the best birthday ever!

I'm going to go make another fork necklace.

...

I'm back.

Now... what should we talk about?

Oh yes! I'm seriously considering not marrying Big Bear and Ursalina because it's scary and it means that my friends and I are growing up.

I'm going to text talk a while longer.

If i go 2 skool on mi birthday i will hav nobody to celebrate it with anyway, because a birthday is just like any other day at mi skool! nobody wishes u happy birthday, nobody gives you presents, (except for that science test my teacher is giving me) its horrible! I'd like to spend it at home where everything is about Y-O-U!!!!!

Wait... this is Vacation Called Life! I have to liven this up! This is The Post of the Year and it can't be spent by me whining!

I know...

Brace yourself to laugh so hard you will throw up.

Ready?

Okay.........HA!

You're laughing, aren't you?

Okay, I feel better now.

I have a doctor's appointment after school.

I always dread going to the doctor, since when I was five or six I had enough shots to last me for five years and I'm afraid my number is up.

I HATE SHOTS!!!

Then again... who doesn't?

Lalala...

I'm bored.

CAKE:

Ooh! Now I know what I should talk about! I'll make pictures of what I think my cake should look like!!

I feel loads better.

Good news! Mom said that maybe on my birthday I could just stay till noon and then come home, and still be counted as here! YAY! Maybe we can save this birthday after all!

Ow. My ear infection.

I had forgotten.

UPDATE: Robin's leaving!!! Now I have an ear infection in the OTHER ear and it hurts worse than the other!

UPDATE: I went into the city for a Broadway play!!!!! I loved it!!!

Now I want to take tap dancing!!!

UPDATE: Jackie's dog bit her and her lip was bleeding so I passed her a note to let her know and these really mean girls in my class told on me. :( Like I don't see them mouthing to each other!

Ooh! I had a brilliant idea! I could learn Morse Code, and practice tap dancing at the same time!

Heehee!

AGH! THOMAS IS LAYING ON MY FEET!!!Sweet kitty, but I kinda lost the use of my legs.

Yes, I am in bed.

Yes, I haven't had breakfast yet.

Yes, I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME FOR THIS POST!!!

Ooh, Thomas wants me to rub his belly.

(rubrubrub)

Yeah, you like that! Now, I can't get up, so I am going to starve. Might as well take more pictures. The canopy above me:OOPS! Kinda fell off the bed, there, didn't ya, fatso? But, oh, look, he came back before I could escape for my M&Ms just out of my reach.

In front of me:Left Thomas and went downstairs for my egg. I'll show you around later.

Sorry the picture is so blurry, I couldn't see and I kinda had to balance it on Thomas.

If you notice over there is Big Bear, my other bear Dorothy, and Ursalina.I just sneezed so hard I hit my head against the wall.

Yesterday I hit my head on the Broadway chair in front of me.

TWO BRUISES! I might need to get 11 for my birthday.

I'm hoping I'll get 11 presents including my cell phone because... you know... it's like eating your age in helpings on thanksgiving.

UPDATE: TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY! :D D: :D D:

Okay. This is it. This is my last post while I'm 10. These letters were written when I was ten.

Tomorrow's post: will be when I am 11.

10, baby, what a great age.

But it's time to say goodbye.

What will happen when I'm 11:
Can you spot the 7 differences?

Leave me a comment and tell me! :)

--Jane

PS: Random picture of the week: PARTY!!!!!!!
Okay, so maybe it's not exactly random.

But still!

Happy birthday, me!

10

Random Picture 3

2011-10-03T10:29:00.000-04:00

Random picture of the week:

Me scuba diving. --Jane

Random Picture 2

2011-09-25T11:17:00.003-04:00

Random picture of the week:

Me riding on an elephant.

100th POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Part 1

2011-09-20T20:33:00.003-04:00

I mean, not really. But plus all of my drafts it's 100! (And published posts it's 53, and don't worry: I will have a 100th published post special too) So I needed to do something really super special for my 100th/53rd post, right?

BIG BEAR AND URSALINA ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!!

I mean, in my own little world (Janeworld) this is the biggest thing that will probably ever hit. EVER. (You must remember I still AM a child) Except when I get married. And actually I decided to marry them as best friends, not as husband and wife. Because the children would be bears with spots.

So, this is the hugest thing of my life. It's like Janeworld is exploding.

Anyway, soon I will get to the tale of the day of their wedding day (October 23rd, if not delayed I haven't had much time to plan since school started on the 9th) and since there are so many posts that will be interrupting the Goonie Jane series then I decided to just put the series on hold.

I know, I'm mean.

But don't worry, I'll get back to it soon. But I have LOADS to talk about. (My birthday is October 11th!! It's gonna be the POST OF THE YEAR!!!!! On 10/11/11 I will be 11.) And seriously, I'm super sorry for not posting for, like, a month. There was a power outage after Hurricane Irene hit, a huge tree fell on the neighborhood power lines. But we MOVED!! We moved into this gigantic house! This is the outside: (I'm not kidding, it really looks like this:) Okay. Maybe I should make this a very long post to celebrate. So I'll tell you the story of Ursalina, since I don't believe I've told you about her yet.

So it was just after I had gotten Big Bear.

Ooh! I know! I'll include Big Bear's story in this post, too!!

Back to story. It was just after I had gotten Big Bear. I felt my life still had a hole in it. I mean, Big Bear and Bee were great. But they were a little boyish for my taste.Big Bear and Bee realized something was wrong, too.
We couldn't figure out what was the matter, until I had The Dream...
We rode away to go find the mysterious person in my dream. I noticed that spectators were gathering around the sidewalk to watch me ride by on my way to Wallmart, so I decided to smile to make a good impression, but I didn't forget what I had come for.Soon I came upon Wallmart and parked my bike and Big Bear and Bee and I all walked inside.

I pushed the basket into the toys aisle.

ME, HELPING BIG BEAR OUT OF THE BASKET: We're looking for somebody who looks like Big Bear, only longer around the middle.

BIG BEAR: Gotcha.

ME, HELPING BEE OUT OF THE BASKET: Let's split up.

We went in all different directions.

We looked at every single toy, and then left. We went to a dozen different stores, at at 9:00 I began to give up.

I parked the bike and we walked into the yard sale. I basically dragged them, since whenever somebody passed by they'd go limp.UPDATE: I'm sick for the first day of school with a 103 fever so I have a lot of time. This will be done in no time. And, I may get better soon, so I decided not to include Big Bear's story in this, but I will include it in part 2.

UPDATE: I'm better now, and I can go to school on Monday.

UPDATE: it's now Friday. School is hard yet fun.

UPDATE: It's now Sunday. Man, this post is taking a long time! Sorry.

UPDATE: Maybe I'll put all of my updates in this small corner, since I've gotten some work done ahead of this, and it's Tuesday.

Back to the story.

We searched all over the yard sale, until I could see it was hopeless.

ME: Let's just go home.BEE: Hey, we didn't look at this table.

ME: Oh, what's the use, Bee?

BEE: Let's just check before we go home.

ME: Okay. It couldn't hurt.

We walked over to the stand.

ME: Just an alarm clock and a lamp.

BEE: Jane, you can barely see over the table.

BIG BEAR: I'll boost you up.

I grabbed Ursalina and we headed to the checkout. When I finally got the cashier's attention, he rang up Ursalina and told me how much he needed.

WOO!

Time to wrap it up, people!

Yes, all good things must come to a end.

I hope you had fun, because I certainly had fun.

Part 2 will be out soon!

I hope this was worth the wait!

--Jane

PS: Random picture of the week: Me Eating A Banana

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

2011-08-27T11:53:00.034-04:00

We interrupt your regularly scheduled series to report that HURRICANE IRENE is rampaging through the US and is headed straight for the Cooper Estate!!

We interrupt this screaming panic...

...to report that the hurricane has changed it's course and now we will only be getting heavy rain!

But you might want to clean out your basement, since there might be some flooding!

And bring in the potted plants from outside.

--Jane

PS: Happy Hurricane!!!!!

Goonie Jane That's My Name Part 3

2011-08-20T10:56:00.045-04:00

BEE: The only way we'll get up the wall is by teamwork. At the top of the wall, I found a baggie of Hershey Bars and stuck those in my backpack. I checked the map.

ME: It's another drop from here.

BEE: Don't wanna fall again!!

ME: Don't worry. Nothing's gonna happen. There's probably just some more pillows down there. And if something bad does happen, I have my Nancy Drew sleuth kit in my pack, also. Big Bear, go get a torch. It's dark down there.

BIG BEAR: I have the torch.

BEE: Okay. Let's jump.

And we jumped. I looked down for the pillows, but could see nothing but blackness. Then the torch revealed something most unpleasant.
We screamed. I was sure we were going to die, but I decided to try and save us, anyway.

BEE: I'm gonna let go and see what the story is.

We got our stuff together and tromped along.ME: Somebody tried to scare us.

At the edge of the mattress was a dark tunnel.

What horrors awaited for us in there?

--Jane

PS: Let's give up a cheer! Part 4 is on its way!!

Goonie Jane That's My Name Part 2

2011-08-19T11:49:00.017-04:00

I opened the map and it looked like this: S0 I had to walk next door first and find the entrance down to the shaft that led to the BURIED TREASURE!!! I grabbed a grocery bag to bring the treasure back and waved goodbye to Mom.

ME: It's almost too easy.

BIG BEAR: I don't see any booby traps.

ME: Let's go.

I walked towards the other house.

BIG BEAR: Hey! They're not home!

ME: Let's go inside.

We entered the house and came into a nice living room.

I walked around, but couldn't seem to find the entrance.

But Bee finally found it.

I grabbed Bee and Big Bear, and got ready to jump down.I threw my backpack down but heard nothing. I started to get nervous that it might be bottomless, but then I heard a soft "poomp".

Then we jumped.

We landed on a pile of pillows.

I checked the map, and we were to go West. We through a long hallway lit by torches, and suddenly we came to a giant wall.

There was writing on the wall, and I read aloud.

We needed to get up the wall.

But how?

--Jane

PS: Part 3 is coming soon!

Goonie Jane That's My Name Part 1

2011-08-17T10:49:00.019-04:00

So a couple of nights ago my dad bought this really fantastic movie called The Goonies, and it had Sean Astin in it from my favorite movies of all time: The Lord of the Rings.

I was very excited, so the next morning I got up and ate breakfast and waited for everybody to leave to begin my adventure as a Goonie. Dad went to work, Mom went to yoga, and Ana, being a teenager, would sleep 'till noon. As soon as everybody was gone I raced upstairs to find my Bee Blanket and Big Bear. (Big Bear details later). They were my Goonie sidekicks.

My friend Jackie had just given me her cowboy hat, so I was prepared for anything.I decided to start with the attic, since they had found the map up there too. But I remembered Dad saying that it was dangerous to go up there because of this weird poisonous cotton, or he was just trying to keep me away from it at Christmas during my annual Search The House For Presents.

Anyway, I went down into the basement instead, and I found an old story of mine but nothing else but boxes....very old.

Bee suggested that I play on the drums and sing a song to uncover a key.

ME: Bee, that's brilliant, truly brilliant!

I got on my drums and began to play.

I was upset at her lack of interest but nevertheless I waited and WAITED AND WAITED and FINALLY Mom came home and told me I could go out. I packed a backpack of necessary foods:

...along with a pillow, a gardening shovel, and some gloves, and I set out on my amazing journey to follow the map.
--Jane

Sun Girl And Rainbow Girl

2011-08-07T16:02:00.037-04:00

These past two weeks I've been going to art camp, since I am extremely talented when it comes to drawing things. I guess I had expected something a bit more professional... ...than what it really was.But it was a nice camp. I made some pretty nice things. The first week I would've enjoyed if it had not been for this really mean girl named Daria. (I call her Diarrhea.)

I think she has issues. Apparently this boy named Ryan in our class became her boyfriend the second he walked in, even though they had never met before.

And apparently I've been trying to steal Ryan in her brain, even though I'm ten and they're twelve, so I'm no big threat.

She also does whatever it takes to be mean to me, and I've dealt with this kind of situation before about being the littlest but she really started to get on my nerves.

Like one time, we were playing Ninja...

And one time she really needed to get to Ryan who was beside me but she was kneeling down to tie her shoes so when she stood up she bumped me and she's like "HEY!!" like it was my fault and then she shoved me in order to catch up with Ryan and 'payback'.

One time I called her a jerk and she told on me but the counselors were teenage boys so they really didn't care.

Only one good thing came out of that week because I got my anger out on comic drawing...Sorry it's sideways but it says: The adventures of Sun Girl and Rainbow Girl Issue number 1 Part 1/2 Sun Girl Vs. Daria-o-tron

GAH! They're all sideways. But if you could just tilt your laptop or your head... sorry, I had to take these on my bedroom floor with my old camera since I lost my Flip camera and they turned out all weird when I uploaded them. Sorry.

I don't think the flip camera wouldn't take pictures and only video, anyway.

This one's right side up. I think they're all right side up from now on. I wrote three other issues, but I post those later.

And the back page...And The End! I hope you liked it!

I'll post another post about the other three later.

Here's another video from Charlie

--Jane

Dancing

2011-07-20T17:18:00.001-04:00

There are three main categories for dancing.

1. Super awesome (like ninjas on unicorns)

2. Okay (Waltzes, tap dancing, birthday party dances)

3. Just gross (Not dancing at all but there's music playing, screw ups, sumo wrestlers dancing)

I happen to be an 'super awesome' dancer.

The first time I went to a dance club was like a dream come true.

At 8:00 there would be a dance contest, which is why mom brought me. She settled in a corner and waited while I signed my name up and waited to dance. Finally the floor was cleared. I was second in line, and the winner of that round would challenge the next person in line. The people voted and I won hands down.

And then I won again.

And again.

And again.So basically I won until there was only one contestant left; the guy who had been at the bar when I first walked in.

I hadn't seen him dance yet, but I was so confident he'd be just like all the others. Also, I was a little afraid of him.

It was an epic battle of awesomeness. We went on for an hour before all the votes were in.

Finally the music stopped playing. And I won!

And the guy? Well, I think he was okay about it.

--Jane

Random Stuff

2011-07-15T08:28:00.005-04:00

So yesterday afternoon I was watching a YouTube video by my second favorite you tuber, charlieissocoollike. I've watched every one of his videos but was out of date. So first I watched a video about his 1,000,000 subscribers and then I found this video: it's by him and it's about time travel.

Basically it's about cookies and time travel.

So I was very amused by this video, and watched it over and over again until I had memorized it. So I had a free afternoon.

Yesterday morning I had sailing camp. I learned how to turn, and this class we went all the way across the Long Island Sound and back. Oh, and here are some pictures for my last post, Rosalie's Puppies. These are actual photos taken at Jacqueline's house about thirteen days after the puppies were born.

In case you didn't know: there were originally four puppies, the girl died ( :( )... so there's three. The boys are Mr. Lawyer, Fifi, and Kiwi. Kiwi is the one they are keeping now.

So...

Rosalie, Kiwi, Fifi, and Mr. Lawyer...

Kiwi, Fifi, and Mr. Lawyer...

This is either Fifi or Kiwi. Jackie painted Kiwi's nails after these were taken to tell them apart but for now their nails aren't painted so Kiwi and Fifi look a lot like each other.

Ooh! A real photo! Jackie and Kiwi or Fifi...Okay. This is the moment of a thousand posts... the picture you all have been waiting for. A picture of ME. Myself. I. And Mr. Lawyer. I'm going to put some space between this text and the picture to make you suffer.

WOOO!! Go me! Now you may understand my pictures more!!

What?

Glasses?

Oh......... yeah.......

I wear glasses. Ever since I was six. I guess I just didn't draw them because... man... glasses are hard.Okay... not that hard... but my eyes are too far apart, they're ugly, and plus... I don't even have a nose.

Anyway... off topic. More pictures of ME (yay me!) and Mr. Lawyer. My favorite. I guess I like him because he's unique. No other puppies are black... and his fur is so dang soft!Unfortunentally, those exact glasses were swept away by a wave on July 4th. Just ruined my whole day. I had those lenses for two years and gotten new perscriptions in it, so they had a lot of sentimental value. Actually... I got those in second grade... so... three years. :( :( :(

OOH!! That puppy face just makes me want to melt!!!!And this one is my absolute favorite...Ahh......

Okay so here's sleeping Kiwi or Fifi...Let me hear you... one... two... three... AWWWWWW.

So after that it was naptime and we laid down with them.

I remember that image up there ^ so well... look at it's little paw on my arm. These puppies are more adorable than you can ever imagine. :)
:)

YAAAY PUPPIES

Okay. So I have no pictures, but back to sailing.

Today we're going on a treasure hunt all the way across the Sound in Sand City. :)

So I have to go, class starts at 9:30 to 12. But I'll write more soon!

Peace out!

--Jane

(PS: BOINGBOINGBOING HARRY POTTER IS TODAY! BOINGBOINGBOING)

Rosalie's Puppies

2011-07-11T17:50:00.002-04:00

As you know, at my new school I have a friend named Jacqueline. Jackie's nice and her doxin terrior had puppies. Rosalie, her dog, was moping around when she was pregnant. She was a fat fatty fatso of a fat dog. When I came over Rosalie was still moping around.She kept on making weird gurgling sounds and it really got on my nerves while we were playing Poker. Jacqueline couldn't stand it too so she suggested that we make nice little pictures for Rosalie's Heating Room, where she has to be in a nice heated place to give birth to the puppies, or recover, but probably just recover. She still bothered us so we took her outside to play. We watched her gurgle for a while as we played Go Fish and then, suddenly, she took off running. We chased her to the other side of the yard.

S0 Rosalie got away. But that's okay because she didn't go very far before she got snagged on a trampoline and couldn't get out. We decided to have some fun and climbed on and bounced her around. But we bounced her too much and she was able to wriggle free of the tangled net and took off towards some docks. We didn't know where we were until we were on deck of a ferry that was about to take off. But the motar roared to life and we were whizzing away. We went down on deck, wondering what to do. A man came by.

THE MAN: You ladies got your fishing poles yet?

ME: Fishing poles?

THE MAN: Why of course! This here is the James Joseph III, the greatest fishing boat in the world. Tell yuh what, since I like the looks of y'all I'm gonna let you have a bucket of bait for free.

JACQUELINE: Well that's very kind of you but we need to get off this boat, we didn't mean to.

THE MAN: Huh. *SCRATCHES HEAD* Well then, this here's a 3 hour trip. You ain't going home soon so might as well enjoy yourselves. *HOLDS OUT FISHING POLES AND BAIT*

ME: Agh! *TAKES POLE AND BAIT* But just to give you a heads up, her puppy's gonna have babies any day now and so she may have to go into labor on the deck.

THE MAN: Well, enjoy.

And he walked off. Jacqueline shrugged. We carried Rosalie out to the deck and then we dropped our lines in and waited, glancing at her for any signs of birth. We caught four fish: of which Rosalie ate them all, so she had to lie down for a while and we ate Cup a Noodles inside.

ME, SLURPING SOUP: What are we going to do?

JACQUELINE: I know. No doctor's here to help. I've heard of the mother dying before. *SNIFF*

ME, HANDING HER A HANKY: Maybe we can convince the captain to go back.

JACQUELINE, LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW: We're too far from shore. And it might disrupt the other passengers if we have to turn back around.

Suddenly, Rosalie started howling. She had hidden under one of the benches and was moaning and wouldn't come out. So we fished with a howling dog at our feet.Pretty soon Rosalie stopped from pure exhaustion. But Jackie was worried anyway, and asked me to watch her line. She didn't come back, so I reeled in our lines and went to check on her.

And I was not happy with what I saw.I was mad for Jackie sleeping on the job, so I shook her awake. The captain's voice came over the speakers and told us to reel in our lines and we were heading in. Jackie and I dashed off of the boat. I took the liberty of slapping the dude with the headphones because he was so stupid to not hear us and get us off the boat in the first place. We ran home as fast as we could.

An hour later, four puppies were born.3 boys and 1 girl.

SAD PART: Three days later, the girl died.

She had a hole in her throat so instead of into her stomach the milk went into her lungs.

RIP Saba (that's her name. Jackie's mom had a dog named Saba that got run over by a car and so they decided to name her Saba but not Jackie swears that the name is cursed)

But, the three boys are alive and healthy. The last one in the picture is the biggest, he's already a foot long! The balck one is my favorite, it's going to Jackie's 25-year-old brother. His name is Ponach Mic Lochan, or Mr. Lawyer because Jackie's brother is a lawyer.

The girl, (second from the left) Saba, had sadly been the one Jackie had wanted to keep. See, one would go to her brother, one would go to the vet, one they would keep and one they would sell. But now they are keeping Kiwi (1st one from right) and I like him well enough. I was hoping they might sell one of them to me, like Scout and Austin aren't enough dogs. But still.

RIP Saba.

PS: this post is dedicated to a dead dog. Is that wrong? No.

--Jane

Happy 235th, America!

2011-07-04T10:07:00.000-04:00

YAAAY!!! It's the big boss's birthday today! And you know what that means...

That's right...

Happy Birthday, America.

--Jane

Eggs

2011-06-05T07:20:00.000-04:00

PS: Now that you have read the title, I suggest making three sunny-side-up eggs to get in the mood. It makes it much better.

When I was seven, with the help of staying on my grandfather's farm: I had a massive unexpected craving for eggs.

I would eat nothing but eggs. My grandaddy had bought eggs and I ate the whole carton, so he bought two more packages of eggs. I ate twenty two. He ate two. So I went around the house, groaning 'EGGS...' like a zombie.

I was unstoppable. By our fourth week in Alabama I had eaten three carton of eggs, which grandaddy had generously paid $15 for. But he was getting more impatient for cooking me eggs every morning. It was also costing him butter and salt, which were expensive in the rural area he lived in, so mom and dad needed to take action. They included Ana too, so one day while I was just minding my own business coming up with 100 ways to prepare an egg when Ana sprang out of a tree at me. ME: You almost gave me a heart attack! Do we have any eggs?

ANA: Jane, I have a lesson to teach you.

ME: I'm on vacation! I don't want to learn on my break! Can you make me some eggs?

ANA: Dad wants you to learn. So you like butter on your eggs, right?

ME: Of course. How else?

ANA: Butter is made from the fat content of milk. And do you know where milk comes from?

ME: No...

ME: EEEWWWBLARGAFUHMMMGAKAHUFFAMUFFPUFFSUFFNGAKGAK!!!!

I wanted to bark for Ana to make me some eggs (hold the butter) but she had disappeared as quickly as she had come. I was wandering about the farm feeling a little queasy when dad dropped the bomb.

DAD: Hey, sweetie!

ME: Dad, Ana...

DAD: Do you want to know something absolutely fascinating?

ME: NO!

DAD, LEADING ME TO CHICKEN HOUSE: Here we go. You see that chicken on the nest?

ME: Yeah, she just sat down. Now she's standing up... WAAHAHHAHHHAAA????

DAD: Yes, fascinating things eggs. A chicken lays an egg at least once a week. it...

ME: AAAARRRGGGHHH!! I'm fed up with eggs! GO GET ME A QUESADILLA!!!!

And that, my friends, is the end to another glorious blogpost.

Hope you enjoyed the banana-eared cow.

--Jane

Santa Closet

2011-05-27T09:14:00.000-04:00

NOTE: this post has been written by famous author Robert Burton Robinson. I just added pictures. He wrote this for an essay when he was in fifth grade

Three long years ago, when I was seven, I had a lot on my mind. My family had moved into a new house right before Christmas. A house with no chimney. And, like any discerning youngster, I immediately saw the handwriting on the wall. No chimney, no Santa Claus. Period. The end. I queried my parents concerning the dilemma. “Don’t worry, Johnny,” they said, “Santa will find a way to deliver your presents.” I was appalled by their laissez-faire attitude. This was a critical issue. I demanded a definitive answer.
They giggled, and told me I was cute.

But I didn’t want to be cute. I wanted my presents.
I found myself in a constant state of panic. My five-year-old brother, Billy, lived in his own little world. He was too young and immature to understand the ramifications of the situation.
Surrendering to the inevitable doom, I began to count down the dreary days.
On the first day of Christmas, Dear Santa gave to me: a woodpecker in a dead tree.
On the second day of Christmas, Dear Santa gave to me: two rotten eggs, and a woodpecker in a dead tree.
On the third day of Christmas, Dear Santa gave to me: three baby skunks, two rotten eggs, and a woodpecker in a dead tree.
It was going to be the worst Christmas imaginable. And I was powerless to do anything about it.
On Christmas Eve our house was filled with merriment. My dad read “The Night Before Christmas” in dramatic fashion. Mom led us in the singing of familiar, peppy Christmas carols.
I played along—just to make my parents happy.
Billy laughed and sang his heart out—completely oblivious to the impending disaster.
When it was time for bed, my parents gave their usual spiel: “You boys try to fall asleep fast, because Santa won’t come until you’re asleep.”
I wondered how they could be so naive. Did they really think Santa could somehow get into a house without a chimney? What was he supposed to do—come in through the plumbing? Pop his head out of the toilet, and exclaim, ‘Merry Christmas?’ It was ludicrous.
So, for once in my life, I had very little trouble going to sleep on Christmas Eve. I had to tell Billy to shut up a couple of times. But after that, we were both out cold.
There would be no gifts in the morning—except the shirts I watched my mom buy for me at the mall. She had wrapped them up beautifully. And I would try to look thrilled when I opened the packages. But, come on—shirts are not even in the same league as bicycles and game consoles.
At 2:13 a.m., Billy punched me in the back. I rolled over, and was about to land a fist in his stomach when he whispered, “Listen.”
I don’t hear anything,” I said. “Go back to sleep and leave me alone.”
I rolled back over. Then I felt Billy get out of the bed. The nightlight projected a ten-foot shadow of my little brother on the wall as he approached the door.
“Come back here and get in bed,” I said. It was my responsibility to keep the little guy in our room. My parents did not appreciate night visitors to their bedroom. So, you’d better have a very good reason for waking them up in the middle of the night.
He ignored me, turning the doorknob very slowly. He opened the door just a crack and peeked out. Then he looked back at me and began to wave wildly for me to join him.
I jumped out of bed and rushed over to Billy. I was sure he was getting excited about nothing. The boy has little understanding of the things of this world. But I couldn’t let him wander into my parent’s room.
As soon as I stuck my head out the door, my heart began to race. There he was. All dressed up in red and white, just as you’d expect. He had a long, white beard and wore a red cap. I never dreamed I would ever see him in person.
He was standing in the closet at the end of the hallway, loading his arms with bright-colored packages. Then I saw the bicycle. The one I had asked Santa to bring me.
My parents were right! Santa had found a way.
I decided there must be a hidden door at the back of the closet. A door that only Santa could open. That’s how he got into the house.
I felt a chill down my spine. Billy and I were on the precipice. We had already seen too much. I carefully closed the door, and we held our breath as we slipped back into bed. I prayed we hadn’t ruined everything. I pictured our Christmas hopes plummeting into some black hole reserved for the lost dreams of the naughty, nosey children of the world.
But my fears were for naught. Christmas morning turned about to be the best ever. It was then that I realized my parents were perhaps somewhat wiser than I had always imagined.
Billy and I loved all our presents—especially the ones from Santa. But it wasn’t just about the gifts. It was about the magic.
And now I know the truth. You don’t need a chimney. Santa will find a way.
As you might imagine, I’ve searched for that hidden door at the back of the closet. But I’ve never found it. I figure it’s just part of the magic of Christmas. That closet is like any other closet—until Christmas, when it becomes…
The Santa Closet.

The End

Momma's Day

2011-05-04T18:21:00.000-04:00

NOTE: This post is dedicated to the greatest mom in the world: MOMMA!!! Happy Momma's Day!!

Before I moved to NY when I was seven, as you know, I lived in Austin, Texas. Recently we went back there during Easter Break, and it made me think of one time when I was four when I went up to Dallas to visit my grandmother. While visiting, nobody noticed me pushing the screen door open and going outside. I walked down to the creek, my favorite spot, but there was something different about it.There was some sort of strange murky liquid flowing in the lake. I had just learned to swim, and I decided to try my 'expert' swimming on the creek. Everything was going great.But then something started pushing on me.

I was carried down the stream until I came to a house. I climbed on shore and walked up to the house. When I told them I was lost they quickly dried me off and fed me.

While I was eating Cheerios the woman, named Mrs. Grossman, (but she wasn't a man and she was pretty so I didn't get that) decided to go upstairs to take a bath. Now, I LOVED baths. So as soon as I heard the water running I headed upstairs, because every bath was obviously for me. If somebody wanted to take a bath they'd have to share. So when Mrs. Grossman fetched her towels I climbed into the tub.

They tried seven times to take a bath, but each time I beat them to the tub. They had to wait patiently while I gave myself a bath, climbed out, and walked away before trying again. She finally dressed me up and decided to find my mom before I priced the water bill any higher. I told them my mom's name was Momma, and we started wandering down the street asking the neighbors if I belonged to them. I wandered away while they were having a conversation with a man.

I walked down the street and saw two boys playing with their dogs. They were giving their dolls a ride on the dogs' backs.

The dogs came towards me. I was so excited I pushed the doll off and hopped on.

I got off at my grandmother's house and walked inside.

Happy Momma's Day.

--Jane

Nurse Jane

2011-04-11T18:21:00.000-04:00

Once when I was four or five my mother had to go to the hospital for surgery on her foot. She has this problem, see, she was born with it backwards and recently she had discovered she had an extra bone moving everything in her foot around, so she went for surgery. Dad had to fill out some forms so he brought Ana and me along. Ana plopped down and got lost in her book, and after a couple of failed attempts to get her attention I decided to wander around.

I looked around for a while until I came across a closed door. Most of the doors were open, empty rooms, but this one was closed. I opened it and found a doctor suit inside.I was a moving blob of fabric with a head. Some woman nearly had a second heart attack that day when she saw me outside in the hall so I walked in and kept her company until a nurse arrived.

NURSE: Hello, little girl. How are you?

ME, DELIRIOUS LOOK ON MY FACE AND NOT UNDERSTANDING: ...

NURSE: How old are you?

ME: *Still not understanding* ...

NURSE: Who's your mommy?

ME: *Silence* ...

NURSE: Okayy...

The nurse telephoned the front desk to find Dad while I calmly held the woman with the heart attack's hand. The lady, named Mary Parker, was very sweet. She was 87 years old and had been having heart problems her entire life. I told her about Mom's foot and she recommended something called 'acupuncture'. I filed the information in my head as she told me a story.

It was a fascinating story. About her life when she was little. The nurse hung up the phone just as she finished telling the story about how she had met her recently-deceased husband selling flowers when she was six. The nurse said that no children were reported missing in the last five hours and they had no clue who my father was. She also said that I could help out. She dug through seventeen boxes and four closets but she finally found a uniform and hat my size. Immediately I rushed off, and though nobody told me to I ran into the kitchen and jumped on the counter I grabbed a mug and poured orange juice into it (Mrs. Parker had told me she loves orange juice and peanut butter toast) and then I toasted a piece of bread until it was golden brown and smothered it in peanut butter. Then, like an adult, I calmly walked with the tray back to Mrs. Parker's room.

Mrs. Parker was delighted and gobbled the toast up. I left her in peace and wandered around the building. Then I came out to the garage and climbed into an ambulance. Suddenly, two large men jammed themselves into the truck and started driving away. I heard the siren, and I tried to get out but we were already rolling. I saw the way cars moved to let us through and I thought it was because I was so important, but then we screeched to a stop. I climbed up into the front seat and saw them loading a man onto a stretcher and a car stopped five feet away from him, he'd been hit by a car. I was so frightened when they loaded him up, and once the ambulance man saw me and saw my suit, he let me keep the injured man company. And I found my hat, too. (I'd lost it before when I first climbed in)

The man's spirit had been lifted and when we got back to the hospital the woman said that his name was Derek Portis and he was 39 and he had brightened up so much that it would take a much shorter time for him to recover. I promised I'd visit him. I did my job well, I even supervised a surgery...

Met some new friends...

And I had returned to Dad and Ana just in time.

Ah, forget it.

He'd never believe me anyway.

--Jane

A Day In The Life

2011-04-02T08:29:00.000-04:00

When I was three and a half I always woke my parents up at dawn.

I mean, it wasn't my fault, it was DAYTIME. Time to get up, rub my belly and fix me a fresh batch of cous-cous for breakfast.

"Mom, Dad, the SUN is up!! You don't HAVE to stay in bed anymore!"

Mom and Dad had always told me I had to wait until sunrise to wake them.

Each morning Mom and Dad would stagger downstairs, unable to operate without a single drop of caffeine in their blood and when they got downstairs they would see a overly-excited six year old and three year old holding a tray of plastic food and a plastic kitchen and a bucket of plastic food, with two plastic apples spilled out onto the floor.

Then Mom would 'eat' the banana and spoon while Dad made coffee. At some point I would decide Mom was hogging too much food so I gave Dad my glass of plastic milk and he gave me real milk in a baby bottle in exchange. I stashed the food back in the box and we sat down to real breakfast. Then we'd be engrossed in cartoons while Mom continued to sleep at the breakfast table and Dad got ready for work. We crowded around him when he was about to go. After Dad left Mom would wash the dishes and do some housecleaning while Ana and I raced outside with our baby dolls. We would set out bottles of water and bowls and prop our babies up against bushes and trees. We had this special sort of paste of flour and water. It wasn't for eating, but it was fun to serve our babies with. We also loved shaping the paste and stuff. After we fed our baby dolls we would go into the backyard with Mom to harvest the garden. Then we would have lunch. After lunch Ana and I would go downstairs. We had a game where you took the Easter egg shells from last Easter and hide them and then the other would find them. And then Mom would lie down. Ana and I planned all KINDS of mischief while Mom was asleep. Planned. We didn't do it. We were too good children to be bad, so all we did was plan.

Dad was usually home at 6:00. He'd get changed and then we'd eat dinner and watch a movie. Then we'd start winding down, Mom would take Ana to her room and tuck her in while Dad and I snuggled together reading stories until we fell asleep. Soon the entire house was dark, and all was quiet. That was a day in the life seven years ago. As you can imagine, the routine has changed, but not by much.

--Jane

Hide And Go Seek

2011-03-29T17:45:00.000-04:00

My old Texas friends and I were seriously serious about hide-and-go-seek. We'd do whatever it took to win, and we took some pretty close calls.

And I especially loved it when idiots got to play 'it'.

But it got really difficult when expert hide-and-go-seekers were 'it'. If you were hiding and an expert was about to find you you have three options:

A. Let them find you.

B. Pull off a super-awesome-unearthly-way-too-close-call.

C. Pee

So anyway, we were experts. Then one day I became the hide-and-seek-leader of our group. Slowly the group found each other and searched for each other, and finally I was the only one left to be found. They couldn't find me.

I was hiding in the living room chandelier. They split up into groups of two. Phillip and Molly would search upstairs, and Evan and Erin would search downstairs. They finally decided to search the living room. Evan was climbing up onto the chandelier and I had to make an amazingly silent and quick leap out the window.

I hid there until I heard their voices coming outside. I made a break for the tree next to the roof when they decided to search outside, and I had to climb up to the very top to avoid being found. And then there was Molly.

She landed on the trampoline (thank goodness) and everybody found me after that. Molly was okay, just a little dazed. Then they crowned me hide-and-go-seek leader of our group.

ME: I don't understand...

FRIENDS: Only a serious hide-and-go-seeker would try and cover up her hiding place by almost murdering her finder.

ME: Thank you for summing that up.

They gave me a crown and ever since I have been hide-and-go-seek champion.

--Jane

PS:

My Great-Grandfather El Tio Jenaro

2011-03-19T08:41:00.000-04:00

By Lino Gutierrezo

>First of all, I apologize to those of my and previous generations for writing in the language of Shakespeare rather than that of Cervantes. I guess I'm thinking more of future generations than our own. Since Tio Jenaro spoke English very well, I'm sure he would not have minded.>>It's been over a month since he passed. His passing marked the end of the generation of Abuelo Lino and Abuela Eugenia's children, and what a group they turned out to be: Lolita, Linín, Tom, Guiche, and Jenaro. They were remarkable people: all extremely talented, some more artistic, some more athletic, all poets, all with the flair and baggage of their generation. They were good, productive, patriotic citizens in their native land. They married, had children and grandchildren, and contributed to their country and society. But one day, against their will, they were forced to leave their native land to start anew in a new country. Against all odds they succeeded in providing for their families and in making a mark in their new surroundings. During their lives, they suffered through dictatorships, hard times, natural disasters, untimely deaths, and exile. They moved around quite a bit: Las Villas, Matanzas, La Habana in Cuba, then to far off> places like Cali, Los Angeles, Tuscaloosa, and Jackson, Louisiana. Quite a life they led, and quite an example they remain to those of us who are still here.>>Jenaro, of course, was the youngest of the group. He was 12 years younger than my father, so I imagine the older siblings had a big part in raising him along with their parents. I remember my father (who would have been 92 on February 27) calling me "Jenaro ... I mean Lino," throughout my childhood. When I catch myself calling my granddaughter Silvia "Susie," the name of my youngest daughter, it reminds me of my father calling me by the name of his youngest brother.>>My early memories of Jenaro in Cuba were those of a cool uncle who used to visit us and was always joking. He was a doctor, and the family was extremely proud of him for having become one. He had been an excellent student, but he also had an irreverent side that some may not have not known about. There is a famous story about Jenaro that took place when he was a medical student at the University of Havana. Apparently an anatomy class was scheduled for that day, and a real cadaver, with organs exposed for the students to learn, was to be used in the lesson. Prior to the lesson, Tio Jenaro sneaked into the classroom, and placed a piece of ham into the cadaver, hidden between some organs. When the class convened, and the instructor started pointing out the organs, tio Jenaro moved forward, took a good look at the organs, and casually reached in, retrieved the piece of ham he had previously left, and started eating it. Apparently some screamed, others> fainted, and a riot ensued. Or at least that's how the story was told to me.>>He studied in the U.S. for a time. Years later, he told me a story about looking for a small apartment in New York. He was shown an apartment, liked it, and prepared to sign the lease. When he signed "Jenaro Gutierrez," the landlord had a worried look in his face, and said, "I'm sorry, but we don't rent to Puerto Ricans." No problem, said Tio Jenaro, proudly, "I am not Puerto Rican. I am Cuban!" "Same s---," said the landlord and tore up the lease. (For years, I retold this story many times, believing it was true. Only later did I find out it had never happened! Another of tio Jenaro's famous jokes.)>>I remember my parents and I used to go out to dinner with him in Cuba. For some reason I remember going to the "Embers" restaurant with him and ordering spaghetti (which is what I always ordered at age 8). I also remember Tio Jenaro visiting us at La Panchita, the small oceanfront village in Las Villas where the family usually went for summer vacation, and recall that he was an excellent swimmer, as were his brothers. Later I heard that Jenaro was practicing medicine in Jaguey Grande, a town in south central Cuba.>>Then Fidel entered (and ultimately changed) all of our lives. My parents supported him at the beginning, and I recall that Tio Jenaro did too. I heard that, as a doctor, he had been pressed into service by the Castro militia. When the Bay of Pigs invasion took place, it was near Jaguey Grande, where Tio Jenaro was, so he was taken to the front. If I remember correctly, he barely escaped death when a bomb exploded nearby, but he survived the conflict safe and sound.>>My parents had lost faith in the Revolution long before, and soon thereafter, Tio Jenaro underwent a political transformation as well. My father joked that one day, Jenaro had a picture of Lenin on the wall. The next time he visited, he had removed Lenin and replaced him with a painting of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I don't know if the story is true or not, but it became part of the family lore.>>Within the next few months, those of us in the family who were still in Cuba began to leave the island. Tia Lola and her family were already in the U.S. My mother, Tia Josefina, her four children and myself, left Cuba on June 12, 1961 for Cali, Colombia, where Tia Guiche and Tio Rogelio welcomed us. After a few weeks, with five rambunctious kids in the house in addition to three of their own plus newborn twins, they may have had second thoughts! Soon Tio Tom, and later my father, were able to leave the island and join their respective families.>>Jenaro stayed behind. The next time I saw him was when I was in college, I believe in 1970. By then he, his wife Herminita, and children Jenarito, Leandro and Pedrin, left the island and came to live with us for a while. In that time I really got to know and appreciate my uncle. What I had not realized is what a humorist he was. He could have made a living in show business. He could do impressions -- his impression of Fidel making a speech in the countryside about importing hairy oranges from Siberia was hilarious. He could recite poems, often with double entendre. And his best performance was in a famous ode to ... well, I'd better tell you about that one in person. But I had never seen my father with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard.>>He was a Renaissance Man: an excellent doctor, a lover of music, cultured, well read, with a talent for languages. He could speak some Russian, and he taught me some words. He had no difficulty in quickly receiving U.S. accreditation to practice medicine, and found a job at a local hospital.>>He did have one contretemps when he took his driving exam from an Alabama state trooper. Apparently he did not parallel park his car (a 1966 Valiant, if I recall) to the trooper's satisfaction, so he flunked the driving exam. Boy was he mad! He cursed generations of State troopers, policemen, Alabamians, and anyone else who happened to be around on the drive home. Of course he passed the exam the next time, but we kidded him about it for a while.>>After some time in Tuscaloosa, he moved his family to Jackson, Louisiana. I remember visiting him a couple of times there, usually on the way to New Orleans. After that, I joined the Foreign Service, and saw him very few times through the years. I always invited him to visit me in my foreign assignments. He never did, to my disappointment. He would have enjoyed Santo Domingo, Lisbon, Paris, or Buenos Aires. He certainly told me a few jokes about some of the inhabitants of these cities.>>I saw him in Miami a couple of times in the 1990s. Later, when he became ill, I called him on the phone a few times, but it was clear that talking too much tired him. I wanted to see him one more time, so I drove to Louisiana from Washington in May 2009. We did get to talk, laugh a bit while he drank coffee and smoked his "cachimba." That was the last time I saw him.>>So that's what I remember about el tio Jenaro. I'm sure my recollections are imperfect, and others have a lot more vivid ones about him. I just wanted to pay homage to my last remaining uncle, a good man, a patriot, a loving parent, brother, and son, who made many of us laugh. When I think of him, I will smile. And maybe someday I'll get to hear him recite "Paco y Ursulina" or imitate Fidel in another, better place.

>>LG

Jenardo was my great-grandfather and he passed away recently. I never got to see him.

--Jane

Running Away (With Guest Star Izzie) Part 2

2011-03-12T09:14:00.000-05:00

I bought train tickets. I paid to put my bike in storage and then I waited for the train.When the train came I hopped on board. The captain said it was a little over 3 hours to reach Vermont, and the train had wifi. I decided to check in with Izzie when a girl slid into the seat across from me. I remembered the oldest saying, Mom says never talk to a stranger. My mind snapped and I thought it meant that this stranger was bad and if I talked to her she'd hurt me, so I went into shock and just stared at her.

I finally worked up my nerve and told her my name. She told me her name was Tiffany. I told her why I was running away, and she told me she had run away at my exact age and had been on the go for thirteen years, so she was twenty three. This was a fancy train and it had a dining car and she bought me some pizza and we talked. Tiffany only stayed on for an hour because she was dropped off in NYC, and she gave me her cell number so I could call her later. I had to switch trains and get onto some sort of Subway-like train that was super dirty.

It was about four in the morning by the time I reached Vermont, and I walked into a restaurant and my email buzzed.

MOM: You're kidding.

ME: I'm not kidding.

MOM: Tell me you're kidding.

ME: I'm not kidding.

MOM: TELL ME!!

ME: But that'd be lying and you always say

MOM: JUST TELL ME YOU'RE KIDDING!

ME: Oooookkkkaaaayyyy... I'm kidding.

MOM: NO YOU'RE NOT!!!!! Jane, come home, RIGHT NOW or I'll come get you

ME: But it's complicated, see, izzie ran away and

MOM: I don't care about izzie!! THIS IS ABOUT YOU! COME HOME RIGHT THIS INSTANT! You're grounded forever already!

ME: But mom...

MOM: NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*BarbCoop89@gamal.com is no longer online*.

I couldn't believe it. I was there. I HAD BEEN SO CLOSE. Now I had to turn back. I emailed Izzie saying I was sorry and then I came back home. It is now March 12, 2011 and yesterday I got back. But someday I'm going back. Izzie says that she'll go back to Texas one day too, but I was talking about going up to VERMONT for HER. I was going to get back there. I WAS.

--Jane

Running Away (With Guest Star Izzie) Part 1

2011-03-11T12:54:00.000-05:00

When I was four years old I ran away. For like ten minutes.

My sister's blubbering and sobbing brought me back home, and I knew that I had to come home because I had only seen Ana that upset one other time, when she broke her collar bone. I also came home because she had already spent half of her life racking her brains making mischievous schemes to hurt me, and I would've thought she'd be happy that I'd run away. Putting a bucket of water over the door? That was too old. Ana was completely original.

But the idea of running away had not escaped my mind. One day when I was ten years old I was so angry I was sure to run away and never come back this time, but while I was packing my laptop I noticed my friend Isabel wanted to chat with me.

I couldn't believe it. She actually had the guts to do what I could never have done. I started typing frantically.Izzie told me that she had gotten on a plane on March 9th 2011. She claimed that she hadn't run away, she had just ditched school. Going to Vermont? That's running away. I needed proof. I couldn't believe it.

ME: Izzie, take a pic of yourself out in the snow, because I know there's no snow in Texas where you live so you out in the snow I'll know you've run away

IZZIE: But why can't you just believe me?

ME: Just please.

IZZIE: Okay.
Sent it.

ME: Izzie. That's totally fake.

IZZIE: Geez! Fine I'll take a pic of the ticket then.
sent it, but the text is backwards. You know how cameras are.

ME: Yeh. 1 sec.

I shone the picture up to a mirror to read the passport.ME: Oh.
My.
God.
U DID RUN AWAY!!! I have to go...
IZZIE: Why?
hello?
jane?
hello?

*janecooperninesevenonehahaha971@gamal.com is no longer online*.

My Isabel. She was just a few states north of me. Isabel was eight years old, she NEEDED ME. I didn't know how long she proposed to stay but I had made up my mind. I was going to run away.

I packed up my bags and at midnight I headed outside. I rode my bike five blocks to 7-11 and then I was so exhausted and sleepy I stopped to rest outside.

I went inside with my money for a snack, but the man said they were just closing and he couldn't serve me. But I was so hungry.

The man finally gave in and let me buy a pack of M&Ms, and then he shooed me outside and hurried into his car, and then he drove away. I stuck the M&Ms into my backpack and rode a little ways further, and then I knew it was pointless. I couldn't reach Vermont on a bicycle. And then I noticed something.

To be continued...

Mwahaha! I'm so mean!

--Jane

PS: This post id dedicated to my now-teenager sister Ana. HAPPY 13th BIRTHDAY, ANA!!!!!

Cha Cha's Art

2011-03-05T15:35:00.000-05:00

My great 'aunt' Cha Cha only met me once before she died. I was one year old, and you see, Aunt Cha Cha was an AMAZING abstract artist. That is when I got my passion for art.

After Aunt Cha Cha died I had no spark for my art. I developed a passion for writing, but never again did I draw another picture. Until one day I was so upset I grabbed a pen and drew the best picture I've ever drawn.

I gaped at the picture.

I was seven years old.

I showed Mom the sketch, expecting her to ship it off immediately to a museum and for the money to start rolling in, but all she told me was that I had inherited Cha Cha's art gift. I stormed off. I didn't need to take this. I was a real artist, and I didn't care if she didn't care. So for the next week I painted and sketched and painted anytime, anywhere, every minute of every day.

My Mother finally snapped when I went too far.MOM: Sweetie, just because Cha Cha is gone doesn't mean you have to carry on her tradition just because you've inherited her talent for drawing.

ME: Yes, it kinda does.

MOM: Sweetie, maybe you should take a break. You're drawing too much. I'm not saying you should give it up entirely, but there are other activities in life. Reading a book, writing a story...

ME: Drawing pictures to help tell the story...

MOM: Honey. It's embarrassing how you draw certain things. Maybe you should take up fiction drawing.

ME: Fiction?

MOM: Yes. Untrue things. Such as unicorns...

ME: UNICORNS ARE REAL!!!!

MOM: Okay... bad example. But you can draw pigs with wings...or flying cars... basically anything not real. I have to go to work. Think about what I said.

And I did. When she came home she saw me.MOM: It's a story based on a adventure you had when you were little.

ME: Except for the parts I made up to make it more interesting. I also added little pictures that show what's going on.

MOM: I see. Hey!! Oh my goodness! You should keep a blog!

ME: What's a blog?

MOM: It's where you can show almost everybody in the world what's going on and stuff. Come on, I'll show you.

And thus, the blog of the century was born.

--Jane

Sally The Tree

2011-02-27T10:13:00.000-05:00

At some point in my early childhood I gave up wearing diapers. I felt like a 'big kid' now and I told mom that I was going for a walk all by myself. My mom agreed as long as I wore a diaper for one last time. I wasn't happy, but I went along with it just to wear it one more time. Suddenly, I found my sister. She had been following me, Mom had told her too. Ana was six and I was two and a half, but I was so furious. I could do this on my own. I WAS A BIG KID. I sent Ana home and continued on my walk. When I got home I realized Ana's 'Think Green' girl scout group was having a meeting, and I came in to watch. Ana and her friends had a slogan: I actually hadn't hugged a tree in a while so I went outside and I hugged a tree.Suddenly, I felt it.

I had fallen in love with a tree. I scrambled up the tree and stayed there until somebody noticed.

My mom tried everything to get me down from that tree... my favorite foods, (even foods that I wanted but wasn't allowed to have) my favorite toys, but I held strong. I even named the tree.

My mother finally got to me.
I absolutely loved pizza. Especially with green pepper toppings. But I couldn't get down. Sally had a bunch of junk stuck in her branches, and I formed a mischievous scheme, and then I built the contraption and came down.

Don't ask me how I did it. I just did it.

Next thing I new, the next day I was in an office taking my IQ test.

--Jane

Bee Blanket The Great

2011-02-25T09:49:00.000-05:00

When I was three I was going through a drowning phase. I imagined the house would fill up with water and me, unable to swim, would drown. At night I was the most scared, but I'd get about an hour of sleep in, and in that time I'd dream I would fly.And then I'd wake up. I'd run around the room, checking to see if there was any water. And then I'd find it.

I'd treat the water bottle like a god, hoping it wouldn't unleash it's drowning power upon me. I'd gently take it out.

My mom couldn't take it anymore. Every morning she'd trip over the water bottle, put it back in my room. Trip over the water bottle, put it back in my room. She finally called my sister's school and asked if I could just wander around the school for a day, maybe that would energize my dreams. So I packed up my baby blanket and my baby bottle and while the whole school was sitting on the floor and the principal was saying the pledge of allegiance with them, I'd stand, right next to the Principal, watching everybody stare at me. I was completely unfazed. I loved the attention, and I felt safe with all these people watching me. I spotted Ana and waved at her. I felt safe and warm at night, remembering the people staring at me and keeping me safe. The drowning demon wouldn't dare attack when there were so many witnesses. The problem was, I was well rested and after I went to school for the morning I'd be so energetic because I was sleeping okay.

My mom couldn't win. She finally locked me up in a cage right after school and left me there the entire day with just a box of uncooked cous cous to eat.

Mom couldn't bear to see me like that, looking all pathetic and all.

So she took me out of the cage and took me to the grocery store.

Then we came to the baby aisle.

My mother bought me three pacifiers and two Sippy cups, the Sippy cups I especially loved because they had penguins on the side..

While I was occupied with my new toys my mom snuck off and brought back a surprise in a baggie. I kept that baggie later on because it held my best friend of all time in it, I still have it, and my best friend.

It was a Bee Blanket. One side was solid yellow and on the other side it was white, with thousands of bees crawling across the blanket, and 'bzzzzz's next to them.

And so began one of the strongest relationships of our generation.
--Jane

Never Eat Fondue With Gummy Worms

2011-02-17T17:11:00.000-05:00

So at school I have this really mean teacher. First time I met her I had forgotten my book and she was alland I was all

And, unfortunately, she was at our annual Fondue Party in my homeroom, but around my homeroom teacher Mrs. Williams she's a total angel so thank goodness Mrs. Williams was there, and she was the one making the fondue. I was the hungriest in the entire class but my row got called last to get up and get fondue and things to dip the fondue in. As soon as she called us I was at the front of the buffet. When I sat back down I had a plate full of food and fondue:

I ate a few pretzels and stored a few for later, because Mrs. Williams always gave us pretzels for really hard assignments we got right, and sometimes I didn't get pretzels and it makes me feel uncomfortable with other people around me chewing pretzels. So, then I took a forkful of the drippy fondue, sniffed it, cringed, and took a bite.

I stuffed every last bit into my mouth, and realized I didn't have anything to dip my gummy worms and pretzels in, so I went back for more. I dipped a gummy worm into the fondue, and...

--Jane

PS: Today is my mother's birthday! On 3 we shout out to her: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANE'S MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1, 2, 3: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Strength In Numbers

2011-01-29T17:07:00.000-05:00

I had lots of friends when I was little, we were like one big pack wandering around together. There was this one boy named Phillip who actually thought I was a cat, and not a human being, for a while.At first I went along with it, but then he started to really freak me out.

But he got over it, and he's normal now. Phillip is just one example of the twenty... thirty kids I used to hang out with. Sometimes they even followed me home.

I loved being popular. Bullies stayed away from me, and I was never lonely. I also had a good crowd for my jokes. But sometimes when I wasn't trying to be funny somebody laughed, and sometimes it got on my nerves. So one day the group was playing out in the woods.I called attention, we were going to play a game. A guy named Frankie suggested we play hide and go seek, and everybody agreed. We had a vote and I was chosen to find people. See, I liked finding out where people are and then scaring them out of their wits by sneaking up behind them and yelling right in their ear. But I'd get scared if somebody does it to me, and sometimes I'd pee in my pants. But right now I was scouting for them. They always make battle plans while I'm counting, trying to avoid getting scared, but I always hear them. This time was that they'd watch the people hiding in front of them and see when I was coming.

And it goes on. I beat all of them until Mom called me inside and the group stayed out in the woods. She told me she wanted me to go to the grocery store and shop for her, and I asked the group if they wanted to come along. They all said yes so we went for the grocery store and shopped together. And that's why I wanted to tell you about my group of friends, because, after all, strength comes in numbers.

--Jane

Henry

2011-01-29T09:05:00.000-05:00

I was born in Texas, and on the exact same day of my birth my mother's friend, Heather, had a baby one hour after I was born. Henry and I were inseparable. Henry also had a big brother named Aaron who was about a year older than Ana. One time Ana had told me she had a crush on Aaron, and so I and Henry snuck out and followed them when they once went out for a walk together in the woods. Ana was about six and I was four.

We followed them for a great distance, but, being little kids, we couldn't stay quiet.

Henry and I ran back to his van. Henry and I knew of a secret compartment in the ceiling, and only we and his parents knew about it, Aaron and Ana finally discovered it later.

--Jane

Illness Causes Mental Illness

2011-01-28T10:06:00.000-05:00

I'm sick again with a cold and possibly the flu.

I'm going to tell you about an adventure I once had when I was eight, and I was insane from being sick. It started one night, and I couldn't sleep because my nose was so stuffed up.

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my teddy bear but he could do nothing but paper. I sat up and walked over to my desk and drew my nose. Then I made a whole bunch of cartoon noses, and pretty soon I was practicing noses for half an hour.

I paced about the room, thinking about what I could do besides blow my nose and curse the sandman. Then I got an idea. I took two huge empty boxes and draped sheets over the tops.
Then I tiptoed out of my room, down to the basement and brought up the Easter Egg box.
I brought up my old bead collection (I used to collect beads as a hobby, I must have spent over fifty dollars on beads) and I took the shells of the Easter eggs and filled them with beads. Then I got my desk chair and a chair from the table downstairs, and I sat my teddy bear, Big Bear, on a chair. Then I made a sign.Then I sat down and waited. I expected somebody who HAPPENED to be walking by my street at 2:30 AM to magically see inside my window, see the sign and say, "OMG!! 1 cent each?! What a bargain!" and pretty soon I'd have enough money to fill my piggybank.

So I sat in my chair and waited at my desk, I was the clerk who made receipts and stuff.

15 minutes went by.
30 minutes.
An hour.
I finally gave up and returned to bed. I thought about some memories and at 4:30 light poured in through the window. Dawn! Mom and dad had said I was never allowed outside when it was dark, but now it was light! Without bothering to put on any clothes except for my nightgown, I burst outside and romped in the snow.

--Jane

Over-Exaggerated Lies

2011-01-27T08:19:00.000-05:00

When I lived in Texas everything was in walking distance so I could go to the supermarket and shop for mom. When I was six I used to jump to conclusions. Like one time I was at the supermarket and saw somebody who looked like Oprah. My little mind jumped to conclusions.

I told mom the news.

I also realized information suddenly, and I wanted everybody to know. But if I said that I had just figured something out and the information was wrong, I'd be embarrassed. So I finally found a solution, thanks to the good old Internet.
--Jane

The Ten Days Of Pure Pain Part 1.

2011-01-12T17:44:00.000-05:00

Remember how I wrote that post, Sick In Bed? Well, I'm still sick and now the doctor has told me I have strep throat. It all started the day before yesterday yesterday evening, and it was the third day of being sick and dad decided to take me to a CVS pharmacy to get checked out.We sat outside the office for a few minutes.But then I realized something and panicked.What if they would give me the (pause and wait for thunder and lightning) STREP TEST? The Strep Test would hurt my now sore throat and it would hurt much more after the test. I was about to make a break for it, but the doctor called my name and we entered the office. The office sort of looked like this to me: In real life it looked like this:The doctor sat me down and played on her computer for a while until daddy returned from the restroom. Then she asked him a few questions, if I had been here before and my date of birth; stuff like that. Then she (The doctor's name was Miss Kim) started asking ME questions. And some of them were personal too, I wished dad would look away.

MISS KIM: Have you started puberty yet?

ME: Er... I don't think so.

MISS KIM: Okay. (scribbles on clipboard for a second) Why are you crying?

ME: I'm afraid you'll give me the strep test.

MISS KIM: I won't, maybe if It's necessary. (I feel a little better now)Now, I know you're crying because you're afraid of the strep test, but look at the chart on the wall, from one to five how much does your throat hurt?

The chart on the wall looked like one I had seen in Hyperbole and a Half so I went along with it. I said my throat feels about a three.

Then she examined my ears, my nose, and finally my throat.

MISS KIM: Do your ears hurt at all?

ME: Not really. Sometimes, I guess.

MISS KIM, TALKING TO DADDY: Her ears are a little red, one second please.

She sat down at her computer and started typing away. Dad let me hold his phone and play a game.

The doctor finally pulled away from her computer and folded her hands, and grabbed a glove and mask. My eyes grew wide.

MISS KIM: Well, I'm very sorry Jane but I can't tell what's going on unless we take a strep test.

DAD: It'll be fine.

My mouth dropped open. I looked from dad and then to Miss Kim in disbelief.

This is the first thing that came to mind:But, nevertheless, I took the test and got some Ice Cream at TCBY.

Then we went home after we got my prescription pills, and I needed to take one my pills, (I needed o take 2 pills for ten days) but the pills were BIG.I got it down, but then I started feeling serious heartburn. The pain grew stronger, and I refused every food they gave me, even the leftovers of my ice cream. Therefore I was banished to the bathtub to calm down.--Jane

PS Part 2 is coming soon!

Fresh Snow

2011-01-11T10:17:00.000-05:00

Snow came the day I got better from being sick, but it was just a little snow, about 2 inches, but I had slept in (it was Saturday and as you can imagine being sick really wears you out) and so the dogs got to the snow before I could.I was very displeased at this sight, love to put my own footprint in a patch of fresh snow, but there was no more fresh snow. Mom and Dad weren't up yet and so I wasn't allowed in the front yard where the dogs weren't allowed so it would obviously be fresh now. I shut the dogs inside and tried to think of a plan to make the entire yard smooth. Then I had an idea and took the wheelbarrow and went back into the woods. I piled the wheelbarrow high with smooth pieces of snow, being careful not to mess them up. Then I put a smooth patch of snow over each dog print and set everything up. Some of the pieces of snow were ice, so I walked on that. It was perfect.But then the back door to the house swung open, and...

I started yelling at her.

I got the idea she wasn't listening at the end of my lecture.

--Jane

PS I'm so happy I got over wishing you a happy 2011! Oops.

Sick In Bed

2011-01-10T16:30:00.000-05:00

I am sick in bed. This reminds me of one time I was sick three months ago with the flu.

Mom was off on errands and I was sitting on the couch and watching TV. Then my fat cat, Thomas, jumped up onto my stomach. I couldn't breathe, and I needed to get him off me without making him feel like I didn't want to pet his belly.I started groaning really loudly, hoping that he'd move a little, but all he did was lay down.

I got the catnip mouse which was under the coffee table next to my nest, and paraded Thomas around to make sure he'd follow it.

But then, the unthinkable happened.

I ran around the house and finally shook Thomas off my arm and locked myself in my room for the rest of the day.

--Jane

PS HAPPY 2011

THE SNOW IS BACK!!!!

2011-01-07T14:25:00.000-05:00

More snow came! I even got picked up from school early! Excuse me for a second; I have to thank the weather gods again.So anyway I have a story to tell you about my first (actually record breaking) snowfall 2 years ago when I had just moved in, and it was about two and a half feet deep.I took 1 step out into the wondrous mass of sparkling fluff, and...I was upset, but this was the first time I'd ever seen this much snow, so I calmed down.I pushed my stuff aside and tromped until I found the driveway. I started crawling on top of the snow to pack it down to sled on.But it didn't work, so I decided to make a snowangel.

Projected experience:

Actual experience: I decided I needed to gain some magical powers before I attempted to bring down an angel. I saw Chris Angel make a person disappear once, but I was a beginner so I decided to start off small.

I watched the ladybug crawl around for a while and suddenly I saw Ana.

I fell face-first onto the snow again and lay there for a while, and then I saw my neighbor had cleared his driveway, but there were a lot of patches of ice and snow down their steep driveway, so I took my sled and tromped over to go sledding.

Experience:

I spent the rest of my snow day laying face-down on my neighbor's driveway.

--Jane

PS I cannot stop congratulating you guys on the new year! Happy 2011!

School's Started Up And A Video About The True Tragedy Of Snow

2011-01-03T16:58:00.000-05:00

Yes, school started up yesterday and I am still completely wiped out from my first day back.When I got home from school I was sad to see the sight of the 2 feet of snow we had gotten almost all gone. I started picking off little pieces of the Gingerbread House and walking around in sorrow until mom asked me what was wrong.

MOM: Okay, Jane. Something is wrong; I can tell.

ME: The snow's all gone.

MOM: Don't you dare make another snow machine!!

ME: I won't, but what can I do about it?

MOM: Nothing really, honey.

ME: But I'm afraid that this, the second snowfall of this winter season, will be the last snowfall.

MOM: I'm sorry, we weren't really lucky this season. Now go and play.

I slunk off and sat at my desk, thinking about what I could do. I finally decided that I'd make a movie with my new video camera, showing everybody the real tragedy of Winter, though everybody thinks it would be lovely to live up north where all the glistening snow is. So I went down into the basement to grab some stuff.

I grabbed my stuff and tromped outside through the melted snow and set up set in a camp but I had to make a checklist and make a couple trips with my supplies. I sat the keyboard on some moss and set the Flip video camera on daddy's video camera stand. I got it to hold it just in the right position, pointed up at the sky. I sat at the keyboard and played a funeral march, and planned to animate in a title called 'The True Tragedy Of Snow' and some snowflakes.

Now that I had my title scene the narrator had to be dressed up in something totally appropriate for the movie, but didn't look much like me so everybody could see who I was when appeared in my normal clothes to give a lecture or something and I dug through the costume box I had brought out and came up with a few possible narrator outfits.

HIPPIE!!!

PROFESSIONAL OFFICE WORKER!

And it goes on. I decided to just do the whole performance in my clothes I had on now, but I needed a cameraman to follow me around as I went to station to station (I had set up stations) and explained the real tragedy of winter. I called out my sister, but she was no help.

I asked my mom but she was making lunch and dad was off on a business trip in Florida. I gave up and went inside.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope YOU have snow!!

Sluggish Goldfish

2011-01-01T14:08:00.000-05:00

My fish are very happy sometimes, when they swim around and do somersaults; it's cute. But today they were all sluggish as I fed them, and I usually get a warm welcome.So they were really slacking off with that welcome thing, and I was not happy. So I did the first thing that came to mind.
Yeah, the fishies stopped being sluggish after that. No, they just swam sluggishly away from the spoon whenever it threatened to conk them. I sat on my bed and stared at them, and finally one of them ate a piece of food, then hid in the small cave. I decided to do something worthwhile with my time since school will be starting up tomorrow.
But I got no response from the fish, and no notes, either. I ignored the fish for a while, and then called the professional help of my friend Shannon.

We needed to liven up my fish. We tried everything, fun gravel, little plastic plants but they just swam in place like slugs. Then we went out and bought more colorful fish food.
There was no reaction to the food, and I screamed in frustration. Shannon calmed me down and said that she could hypnotise them into being all happy and playful again.
What will cure these goldfish of their sluggishness? Suddenly, I realized why the fish were sluggish. See, I have a jambox next to my fishtank. We had to move it to the floor, in doing unplugging it, while dad had moved the new 10-gallon fishtank onto the shelf. The fish LOVE music. They always crowd around the end with the jambox whenever I turn the jambox on. So I plugged it in, and...

--Jane

PS HAPPY 2011!!!!!!

A Sleepover With Shannon

2010-12-31T12:52:00.000-05:00

I love this girl named Evan, she lives back in Texas, and she and I have known each other since we were 2 years old. We almost never get to see each other but when we finally do we try to make the most of it.I know Evan has nothing to do with my other friend Shannon and our last sleepover, but I just wanted to mention her. Anyway, Shannon is my best friend from NY and she's super nice.

And we are both afraid of the dark, see. But we're also afraid of burglars breaking in and killing us, so our dark fear did not help at all. My hair is such a mess at night.

So anyway, we couldn't sleep at all. We tried a lot of methods of trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep, and one of them was taking my old blue blanket and sleeping on the floor.

But that didn't help, so we tried some more stuff, but finally we gave up and just started to read. As you can imagine, it's pretty hard to read in the dark, and we couldn't turn our lights on for fearing we'd disturb a parent. After 10 minutes we gave up and decided to sneak downstairs, but first we had to be brave enough to open the door.

In the end I had to open it, and I almost screamed when I opened the door in a karate-pose but caught myself when I realized my parent's door was closed, and they're sleeping whenever their door is closed. We crept down the stairs, paralyzed at every creak when the house was settling. But then we heard a thump, and then a scrape. Our little minds jumped to conclusions. (Shannon's taller than me, but she's nine years old btw)

We trampled each other up the stair and locked ourselves in my room, then we closed the window blinds and locked the window and hid in my closet for a half hour until we went scouting, and it turned out to be my cat going after the catnip mouse, and I was so angry at it that I got my bat and...

Shannon choked me until I dropped the bat, but we did it so silently that nobody heard us. I turned the volume way down on the TV and we started watching, but not before refilling the pepper spray. Suddenly, the TV switched off, and we couldn't get it back on. We were freaked out and we just decided to pig out. Then we ran upstairs, when we ran into somebody on the stairs.

Luckily, I had grabbed a certain something in the kitchen, but long ago mom had confiscated all the flashlights because of a certain.... incident.

We were kind of insane from being tired and scared, so we just broke into something that I kind of regret.

We danced.

--Jane

(PS: Happy new year! 2011!!!)

Well, The Snow Is Back.

2010-12-26T17:37:00.000-05:00

Really back.

It started this morning, the blizzard, and 2 feet of snow are yet to come. It's so much you can't even go outside anymore!

Yah, no playdate for me. (I'll write another blog post on my friends later, I promise) So I was sitting, making snowballs and wondering what happened to the ashes of my previous snow contraption after mom burned it to the ground (she fainted, got a torch, and FOOM! She didn't appreciate the machine, I believe) and I made a snowangel. Then I went inside for a movie.Frosty scares me bad, man.

ME: AAA! AAA! Run, children! Run! It's alive! Santa, don't open that door!

I got the idea that Frosty was scary from a comic strip, but seriously.

After 30 seconds of the movie, I decided to go back out inside. I had a sinister plot planned to kill Ana by throwing snowballs at her.

Projected Experience:

Actual Experience:

It was so much after that that I discovered that it was too much for us to be outside. So Ana and I headed in and warmed up by the fire, and then I sat in my Christmas present wrapping and preparing my new fishtank.

Yes. The new fishtank triumphs over the old one. Dad had to move the 5-gallon fishtank to the floor, and the fish were not happy about it. I think one got sick, because... do fish have tongues? Because something came out of a fish's mouth and went right back in. Was it that rude to stick it's tongue out at me? They're so hungry (like the puppy) it may have sucked it's vomit back in, however. Anyway, we're working on the fishtank right now. Maybe I'll write another post that may or may not be illegal. (See previous post)

Happy Holidays!

--Jane

Is It Illigal To Write Two Posts In One Day, Or Am I Just Bored?

2010-12-25T17:00:00.000-05:00

I think I'm just bored.

Oo! Wait! I know this one...! 1 blog post plus 1 blog post equals:

Now that proves just how confused I am! It should say: "Bumbling mass of utter confusion over whether or not I write 2 blog posts." Yeah. I am really bored. Anyway, I have these sketchbooks. I have four of them and the fourth one is in progress, but they're private.

That's your cue to barge into my business. Unfortunately whenever another fellow of mankind dares to utter a word in baby talk just the way I do, I sort of go into shock.

But luckily, my dignity comes back just in time.Merry Xmas!

--Jane

It is 3:00 in the morning

2010-12-25T01:45:00.000-05:00

Hello!
It's me again, and I am waiting for 6:30 to arrive so I can go downstairs and open my presents. It's a rule in our family that I have to wait till' 6:30 to get up because last year I didn't sleep a wink so I was REALLY grumpy in the morning, especially when I discovered Mom had accidentally spilled pepper on my eggs.

And no offense to all you people out there who like peppers on their eggs, but I don't, so I refused to eat them and ate one piece of toast to last me the entire morning. (It's amazing how good my drawing is at this dark hour) That was the year I got the drum set from the grumpy Santa. This is me right now:

Yeah. Pretty bad, right? My stomach is growling.

Doesn't that blue face just plainly say:

"My stomach is hungry. I will eat. Mussttt.... eeaaattt..." *DEPRESSED ABOUT HOUSE INSURANCE*

Oo! Now this PINK one says:

"I am a dummy, and I am lost. Did you make sure to order plain pizza? Mushrooms. Now YOU'RE da dummy in our relationship." *WONDERS WHY HE IS IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE*

Now THIS one is easy:

"I am happy. ...my face hurts." *SMILES AND SCARES LITTLE CHILDREN*

Now, I want to talk to you all about Christmas presents.

WHOA THERE, TEXAS!

You'll get them at 6:30. Now go back to bed.

Anyway, the presents are downstairs right now. I just know it. He wouldn't wait till' 3 to deliver, so I'm hoping that there's gonna be surprises like last year's PlayStation 3.

Wow, I'm so hungry.

Y'know, Christmas is about

not getting.
--Jane

Last Year's Christmas

2010-12-23T19:15:00.000-05:00

Twas' the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring... Except for me. I was up and waiting last year, and you will not believe what happened. I think I fell asleep and dreamed most of it, but, man... it seemed so real!

Yes. Rudolf had been spotted. The moment I had heard jingle bells I had started to fall asleep but when I imagine all that chocolate in my stockings... I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. Unfortunately mom had hid the paint roller and the bucket of grease I had bought so i could grease the chimney, and she said no expanding the chimney either. I sat on the floor and waited for Saint Nick to come down through the chimney.

Suddenly, a puff of black soot came up in my face and I peeked under the fog and saw two buckled boots.

SANTA!!!!!

After my teddy bear walked in dragging my unicorn after being hurled out of the room when the fog hit, things started to get really weird... and painful, too.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! ...eve.

--Jane

It'd Better Snow On Christmas Or I Am Moving To Alaska

2010-12-22T18:28:00.000-05:00

This past summer has been a little TOO warm because I feel like I've never seen snow before.

I decided today that last week's half inch of snow was not enough.
I stormed in the house for a cold drink, and asked mom if she could turn the weather to snow for me. She said no, but she said that she could put me over a vent and turn up the air conditioning and shower me with crushed ice. I said no thank you and went outside. Then something wonderful happened. I saw my garden. It was dead. My little mind raced to conclusions and I burst back inside.

ME: *pant pant* MOM!!!

MOM, not looking up from doing the dishes: What is it, sweetie?

ME: It's winter!!!

MOM: Oh my gosh! Is it snowing?! I need my camera! Camera! Who has my camera?

ME, infuriated: NO mom! I wish it was snowing, but winter is here because the garden is dead! Right?! RIGHT?!

MOM: Ohh. Janie, it's December, and it's 90 degrees. We're not going to have serious winter for a while, hun.

ME: You'll never understand.

So then I raced upstairs and peer out the window, waiting for frost to form on the lawn or for snowflakes to fall.

MOM, entering without knocking: Puppy, there's not going to be any precipitation except rain for a while.

ME, angry tears in eyes: But... but... that's... a big word... and... and... tomorrow is Christmas Eve! It just has to snow! It just... just... HAS TO!

MOM: Sorry, puppy.

And then she left. My mind snapped and I decided to MAKE it snow. I wrote down a plan on some blue paper and showed mom.

I quickly gathered up some material and began to build my contraption.

I think I imagined something like this:

And best of all:

And yet best of all:

So there you have it. I worked all afternoon, and when I finished I called mom outside to see.

This is somewhat the look on Mom's face
:

I thought that look was of pure overwhelment. So I decided to emphasise the effect.

I think she fainted.

--Jane

Hyperbole and Jesus

2010-12-22T10:35:00.001-05:00

I love this blog, see, hyperbole and a half, despite the foul language.

So this morning I was reading a new post.

I wish I'd known mom was reading over my shoulder for part of it.

I was totally inspired by the new post anyway, so I decited to also put on a preformance of the Christ. But Mom wouldn't approve if I tried to show the crucifying part, so had to wait to begin preparing.

I finally found the oppertunity.

So I started with a Mary costume.

My sister had taken the longest coat in the house to school (I'm on break a day early) and there weren't very many robes that I was allowed to use. So I decided to use a Snuggy that my grandmother had made. So I took off my pajama top and slipped on my Snuggy. Then I got some of my mom's homemade bread for one of the Wiseman gifts. Then I decided to act all groggy from pregnancy. Somehow I don't think it was the best Mary ever.

Next I needed some Wisemen costumes. I found a lot of cool stuff, but even if I carried only one thing at a time I'd be squished under its weight. So I decided to get into shape. I got my heavy baseball bat and ran around the house. I wasn't having that much fun, so I put on a deranged smile.

So I sort of had to push the stuff up the basmenet steps as it turned out, but I had my wisemen costumes.

Then I needed a Shepherd. I didn't exacly get what a Shepherd was until later, so I put on something that was cute, yet uneccesary.

I got all the animals using my stuffed animals of course, but I had a little trouble with baby Jesus.

I was pretty much bored with the idea by now, but I had all this stuff out, so I formed a new plan to show mom when she came home instead of an impressive preformance of the Christ.

Yep. I had tea with the Lord. But then the unthinkabale happened.

I kicked the teapot and it flew through the air and when it landed it shattered. Imaginary tea flooded the floor. These teapot things were only 15 cents ecah, but I was sobbing.

ME: Oh noooo! The Lord was knocked over!

ME: Oh noooo! The tea has spilled!

Me, running around house: NOOOOOOO!!!

Me, abruptly stopping: I suppose I could always go back to the Christ play.

And that's exacly what did. Just then I heard something.

I then decided to take the liberty of playing the angel too.

Happy holidays! From,
--Jane Cooper Age 10

The Terrible Trouble With Three Girls

2010-11-26T16:13:00.001-05:00

Geez!

I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!!!

This is all due to the 'Three Girls Problem."

Yes.

The little one is always left out.

So Jesse and my sister were in the dining room, playing poker, my favorite game.

I come in, all happy and excited.

ME: hey, are you guys playing poke-muph!

Ana then shoves me hard in my bread basket.

I step back so that when I ask again she can no longer touch me.

ME: Are you guys playing poker? Can I play too?

JESSE: Sur-

ANA: NO! go play with your Polly Pockets!

ME: But Pollys are no fun without another player...

JESSE: Ana...

ANA: Huh? Oh. Raise you five.

By this time I'm so steaming hot I resist taking Ana and smashing her thumb and stomp upstairs.

Then I make a plan.

THE 'I'LL SHOW ANA' PLAN

1. ASK MOM TO GO FOR A WALK IN THE WOODS

2. MAKE A WRONG TURN AND TRAVEL ALL AROUND THE WORLD

I guess I hadn't realized that I may starve if I had not packed anything whatesoever and you could never make it around the world on foot, unless you'd risk dying from rabies or another disease or something.

I think I visulized something like this:

Mom and Ana are out in the woods behind the gate, Ana clutches a Goodbye note by me.

MOM, SOBBING: Jane, god, this isn't funny! *sniff* Get out here now! Oh, boo hoo, hoo!

ANA, FILLED WITH REGRET: Mom, it's all my fault! I wouldn't let her play poker! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!

Then the two ladies never get over it and Mom banishes Ana just like me or kills her or puts her up for adoption.

Anyway, I had locked the door and was typing up the Goodbye note when I heard some yelling.

I unlocked my door and peeked around the corner.

MOM: You must play with Jane! Look, she's locked her door and taken all the keys! It's POKER, Ana! It's the change glass in the front hallway! MY MONEY!! And if you cannot play with your sister nicely then I'll send Jesse home and she'll NEVER get to spend the night here again!

ANA, SPUTTERING (I AM ENJOYING THIS): B-but mom! N-no! I'll play with her! I... I will! Just give me back my phone!!!

Mom glowers at Ana and after privliges are stripped she is given back her phone. I pretend to be angry when she next knocks on my door.

ANA: Jane?

ME: Buzz off.

ANA: I was just (ugh) wondering if you'd like to play some poker with me and Jesse.

ME: Will you be nice to me? You're always so grown-up around other people.

ANA: Um, fine.

ME, DELETING MY GOODBYE LETTER: I'll be right there.

So now I'm hoping my Thanksgiving will go a little bit better, and it will, Ana was the major block.

--Jane

Excalamation Points

2010-10-31T15:30:00.000-04:00

It's halloween!

I went ot the fair!

the fair was big and noisy and I think somebody poisoned a piece of my candy!

I'm gonna go trick-or-treating again right now!

Bye!

--Jane

P.S. I'm still sad about my poor deceased fish Miranda.

2010-10-30T08:18:00.001-04:00

Hi.

My fish died.

--JEC

Jackie Is Sitting Next To Me

2010-10-29T15:59:00.000-04:00

Hello, fellow peoples!

It is me, your gummy bear, Jane Cooper.

(NO, seriously, i dressing up as a gummy bear for halloween)

Jackie, the girl i just told you about, is sitting next to me in her Cleopartia suit.

She has read my last post, and approves.

Jackie: Kate told me taht in the lunchline.

Jane continues to read.

Jackie: Hey, what's a blog? Huh? HUH?

And so it goes on.

Jackie is reading and laughing as I type.

Jackie babbles on about Kate.

Jackie: Kate hates being called Kate. KATE. KATE. KATE.

We are listening to the radio.

The fish and still being burned by the water.

Gotta go.

Jackie still talks on about how much we both hate Kate.

--JEC

Kathleen The (MEAN) Queen & Jacklyn The Squeezer

2010-10-27T16:56:00.000-04:00

So have I talked to you lately about my new school?

No?

Allrighty then.

See, Kathleen D. was supposed to be my buddy and show me around the school.

One thf ifth day, I still needed help, but Kathleen just said. "Forget it. Next week you're on your own.

So on Monday i was walking through the halls, hugging my books to my chest and clutching a schedule.

Then i bumped into Jacklyn.

Jackie: You're the new kid, right?

I nod.

Jackie: Need some help?

Jane: Where's the science room?

Jackie: Ohh! Wow, you're late! Isn't Kate or whatever her name is supposed to be helping you.

I nod again.

Jackie: So what happened?

Jane: She dumped me.

Jackie: I'd be glad to be your new buddy!

Jane: Really? You'd help me?

Jackie: Sure! Here, let's go to the science room. It's right down here...

And so I got a buddy.

Soon enough, Kathleen found out.

Kate: Here, now, Jane. I need to talk to you. Come here.

Jane: Hi, Kate.

Kate: I heared you hooekd up with Jackie.

Jane: Huh?

Kate: You heard me. I just want you to know that Jacklyn isn't allowed to help you.

Jane: Really? why not?

Kate: Two reasons: We just broke up as friends and she's trying to snag a new friend. And it's against the rules.

Then she walked away.

I didn't understand how it was wrong to occasionally ask Jacklyn for a direction.

So I told Jacklyn what Kathleen ahd said.

Jane: I think she's being a meanie. Ow...

Jacklyn had just squeezed my shoulders.

Jackie, laughing: Sorry! Yeah, she is mean. so we'll just be friends. No matter what she says.

So the next encounter with Kathleen:

Kate: Don't draw on your sheet of paper.

THAT WAS THE ASSIGNMENT.

Jane: Shoo, fly, don't bother me.

Kate: What?!

Jane: Shoo, fly, don't bother me.

Kate: Oh, y-yeah? we'll you're dumb!

Jane: shoo, fly, don't bother me.

Kate: you're an idoit!

Jane: I'm rubber and you're glue. whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

And now all three of us are friends, except I never talk to Kathleen and she sometimes steals Jacklyn and mine conversations and intetrupts and turns it into something else.

I just walk on ahead.

Jacklyn likes to squeeze me.

--JEC

Fish Love Will Always Chher You Up.

2010-10-19T17:13:00.000-04:00

It's true.
See, today I was having a really bad day.

My sister had her friend over and you know how girls tend to act cool in front of their friends.

That's exacly what happened. They were making a video and I came down the sairs and stared work. (I have a job as Bead Store manager)

Ana stopped and scowled at me. I looked at her.

Me: How's the science project going? Why did you stop fiming?

Ana: MOM!! Jane is being noisy so we can't get on with our project!!

Mom: JANE! Get up the stairs right now and work on your homework!

Me: FINE!

Ana smirks.

Me: You don't have the basement to yourself, you know!!
Then I stomped upstairs and decited to work on my stupid homework.

Then Mom yelled at me for forgetting my homework so I slammed the door to my room, picked up my laptop, and here we are.

So I'm here staring at my fish.

They always swarm around me and go near my tank wall whenever I come close to the tank, like they think I'm there to feed them. So I dipped my finger in to check the temperature of the water while they were eating and Miranda accidentally gave me a kiss.

God, that was the most sensational feeling I've ever expirienced.

Fish love will always make you feel better.

You'd be wise to listen and to go out and buy fish and burn your twelve-year-old.

--JANE COOPER AGE 10

The Double A's

2010-10-15T17:00:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while.

Well, see, I just got this new laptop. I'm writing on it.

Then I asked Ana if she wanted to write with me on her laptop.

She said that she didn't like writing anymore.

See, she and her friend Andrew broke up a couple of weeks ago.

I'm not trying to be mean in any way if you're reading this, Ana.

But right after she got into this popstar named Arvil Lavinge.

I think she's trying to work her way through this.

Well, this is just plain...

well...

I'm scared.

Ana is one of the best writers I've ever known besides my mom.

I was looking forward to hearing her next story.

I'm upset, because Ana and Andrew are perfect.

This is all Andrew's fault because he and Ana are perfect and he was mean to her just before they broke up.

I feel like crying.

Ana!

PLEEEEEEEEESE!

You and Andrew are so perfect, alomst like doubles!

DOUBLE A'S!

Your loving and caring sister,

Jane Cooper

Updates

2010-10-03T15:29:00.000-04:00

Hi, Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I've been pretty busy.

I'm going to the gifted school, and I just found outI love my friends more than I did.

Shannon, my best friend, came over for two and a half days (she got homesick at midnight and went home while I was snoozin') and she brought a cake that says, "GOOD LUCK JANE"

I'm going to miss that girl.

Anyway, we had an open house today, which is where people come and see if they like the house and want to buy it. We had to go out of the house.

Me and Shannon are almost exacly alike (Except she likes to hit me with anything in sight like once I was taking off my shirt and she grabbed and and slapped me with it) all warm and mushy and sensitive.

Plus, we're both afraid of burglars.

I'm ready for them. I have pepper, a bat and a cane.

Yawn.

I'm sleepy because I didn't know Shannon had left so when I realized she was gone I woke up at 7:56.

Anyway, I think I'm going to build a chalk city down in the coldasack now. See ya!

--JANE COOPER

IQ Test Today

2010-09-24T09:05:00.000-04:00

In a couple of hours I have to take a test that will last for hours.

Gulp.

Hmm, maybe Ms. Magrino is okay, but I can't survive in a class with TWENTY SEVEN kids in it.

Mom says I have to rest my brain so I have to go soon.

I'm not all that nervous, to be honest.

I guess all this stuff is just a little confusing.

I got in trouble for STANDING MY MS. MAGRINO'S DESK.

So Now I'm starting toi think taht she's trying, but she can do a little better, I think.

Paino.

This curled up fingers thing is starting to really bug me.

I mean, what the heck?

I have a habit.

Now they want me to break it.

My life is confusing, which is why I wirte. I write new stories here and there, and it really helps. I've got my mom's flesh and blood, and I didn't even know dad played the trumpet until after I signed up for it.

Trumpet.

I got lost.

I couln't find directions, and I had to ask three times before I came in late.

They told me stuff dad already taught me, which proves one thing I learned from golf camp,

If your dad played, he can teah you better.

He already taught me a C and a E.

Got to go.

See ya afetr the test.

Wish me luck!

--Jane Cooper the sort of Nervous age 9 3/4

PRESSURE

2010-09-23T16:21:00.001-04:00

Okay.

It's me, Jane C.

I never even thought about me having pressure until my dad mentioned it last night. Lately my teacher, Ms. Magrino, hasn't been all that nice.

So mom's taking me to take a test to get into a gifted school tomorrow.

But I'm a little worried.

Today I just met some new friends, Shannon, Elizabeth, Hanna, and Camie.

If I left them behind, i'd have to slide into my seat in a new school, and I might have to wear *SHUDDER* uniforms.

Yes, I said it.

Uniforms.

YUK!

And no offense to all those out there who wear uniforms.

It may itch.

It may clash horribly.

I'll slide into my seat on teh first day, and everyone woukd stare at me.

All I know is that I stayed up late last night picking my laptop.

PRESSURE.

Now I hate that word.

I don't know what i'm going to do.

Any suggestions?

Post comments below.

Please.

--Jane Cooper age 9 3/4

Golfing & Jesse

2010-09-18T17:59:00.001-04:00

I love golfing and fishing.

Today daddy took me golfing and we actually did nine holes because we drove in a golf cart.

I actually got to drive!!

It was really fun.

I slammed a ball 250 yars with a three wood.

Anyway, I'm sorry this post is so short but I have to go soon to Jesse's house.

My dad's friend is her father, but Ana always plays with ehr mostly so I just hang around and watch TV.

I'm pooped though.

I hope to go golfing again sometime.

TOMORROW FISHING!!!

(i hope)

Gotta go!

--Jane Cooper