Saturday, January 29, 2011

Strength In Numbers

I had lots of friends when I was little, we were like one big pack wandering around together. There was this one boy named Phillip who actually thought I was a cat, and not a human being, for a while.At first I went along with it, but then he started to really freak me out.
But he got over it, and he's normal now. Phillip is just one example of the twenty... thirty kids I used to hang out with. Sometimes they even followed me home.
I loved being popular. Bullies stayed away from me, and I was never lonely. I also had a good crowd for my jokes. But sometimes when I wasn't trying to be funny somebody laughed, and sometimes it got on my nerves. So one day the group was playing out in the woods.I called attention, we were going to play a game. A guy named Frankie suggested we play hide and go seek, and everybody agreed. We had a vote and I was chosen to find people. See, I liked finding out where people are and then scaring them out of their wits by sneaking up behind them and yelling right in their ear. But I'd get scared if somebody does it to me, and sometimes I'd pee in my pants. But right now I was scouting for them. They always make battle plans while I'm counting, trying to avoid getting scared, but I always hear them. This time was that they'd watch the people hiding in front of them and see when I was coming.

And it goes on. I beat all of them until Mom called me inside and the group stayed out in the woods. She told me she wanted me to go to the grocery store and shop for her, and I asked the group if they wanted to come along. They all said yes so we went for the grocery store and shopped together. And that's why I wanted to tell you about my group of friends, because, after all, strength comes in numbers.


--Jane

Henry

I was born in Texas, and on the exact same day of my birth my mother's friend, Heather, had a baby one hour after I was born. Henry and I were inseparable. Henry also had a big brother named Aaron who was about a year older than Ana. One time Ana had told me she had a crush on Aaron, and so I and Henry snuck out and followed them when they once went out for a walk together in the woods. Ana was about six and I was four.
We followed them for a great distance, but, being little kids, we couldn't stay quiet.
Henry and I ran back to his van. Henry and I knew of a secret compartment in the ceiling, and only we and his parents knew about it, Aaron and Ana finally discovered it later.

--Jane

Friday, January 28, 2011

Illness Causes Mental Illness

I'm sick again with a cold and possibly the flu.

I'm going to tell you about an adventure I once had when I was eight, and I was insane from being sick. It started one night, and I couldn't sleep because my nose was so stuffed up.
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my teddy bear but he could do nothing but paper. I sat up and walked over to my desk and drew my nose. Then I made a whole bunch of cartoon noses, and pretty soon I was practicing noses for half an hour.
I paced about the room, thinking about what I could do besides blow my nose and curse the sandman. Then I got an idea. I took two huge empty boxes and draped sheets over the tops.
Then I tiptoed out of my room, down to the basement and brought up the Easter Egg box.
I brought up my old bead collection (I used to collect beads as a hobby, I must have spent over fifty dollars on beads) and I took the shells of the Easter eggs and filled them with beads. Then I got my desk chair and a chair from the table downstairs, and I sat my teddy bear, Big Bear, on a chair. Then I made a sign.Then I sat down and waited. I expected somebody who HAPPENED to be walking by my street at 2:30 AM to magically see inside my window, see the sign and say, "OMG!! 1 cent each?! What a bargain!" and pretty soon I'd have enough money to fill my piggybank.

So I sat in my chair and waited at my desk, I was the clerk who made receipts and stuff.


15 minutes went by.
30 minutes.
An hour.
I finally gave up and returned to bed. I thought about some memories and at 4:30 light poured in through the window. Dawn! Mom and dad had said I was never allowed outside when it was dark, but now it was light! Without bothering to put on any clothes except for my nightgown, I burst outside and romped in the snow.






--Jane

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Over-Exaggerated Lies

When I lived in Texas everything was in walking distance so I could go to the supermarket and shop for mom. When I was six I used to jump to conclusions. Like one time I was at the supermarket and saw somebody who looked like Oprah. My little mind jumped to conclusions.
I told mom the news.

I also realized information suddenly, and I wanted everybody to know. But if I said that I had just figured something out and the information was wrong, I'd be embarrassed. So I finally found a solution, thanks to the good old Internet.
--Jane

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Ten Days Of Pure Pain Part 1.

Remember how I wrote that post, Sick In Bed? Well, I'm still sick and now the doctor has told me I have strep throat. It all started the day before yesterday yesterday evening, and it was the third day of being sick and dad decided to take me to a CVS pharmacy to get checked out.We sat outside the office for a few minutes.But then I realized something and panicked.What if they would give me the (pause and wait for thunder and lightning) STREP TEST? The Strep Test would hurt my now sore throat and it would hurt much more after the test. I was about to make a break for it, but the doctor called my name and we entered the office. The office sort of looked like this to me: In real life it looked like this:The doctor sat me down and played on her computer for a while until daddy returned from the restroom. Then she asked him a few questions, if I had been here before and my date of birth; stuff like that. Then she (The doctor's name was Miss Kim) started asking ME questions. And some of them were personal too, I wished dad would look away.

MISS KIM: Have you started puberty yet?

ME: Er... I don't think so.

MISS KIM: Okay. (scribbles on clipboard for a second) Why are you crying?

ME: I'm afraid you'll give me the strep test.

MISS KIM: I won't, maybe if It's necessary. (I feel a little better now)Now, I know you're crying because you're afraid of the strep test, but look at the chart on the wall, from one to five how much does your throat hurt?

The chart on the wall looked like one I had seen in Hyperbole and a Half so I went along with it. I said my throat feels about a three.

Then she examined my ears, my nose, and finally my throat.

MISS KIM: Do your ears hurt at all?

ME: Not really. Sometimes, I guess.

MISS KIM, TALKING TO DADDY: Her ears are a little red, one second please.

She sat down at her computer and started typing away. Dad let me hold his phone and play a game.


The doctor finally pulled away from her computer and folded her hands, and grabbed a glove and mask. My eyes grew wide.

MISS KIM: Well, I'm very sorry Jane but I can't tell what's going on unless we take a strep test.

DAD: It'll be fine.

My mouth dropped open. I looked from dad and then to Miss Kim in disbelief.

This is the first thing that came to mind:But, nevertheless, I took the test and got some Ice Cream at TCBY.
Then we went home after we got my prescription pills, and I needed to take one my pills, (I needed o take 2 pills for ten days) but the pills were BIG.I got it down, but then I started feeling serious heartburn. The pain grew stronger, and I refused every food they gave me, even the leftovers of my ice cream. Therefore I was banished to the bathtub to calm down.--Jane

PS Part 2 is coming soon!