Friday, December 31, 2010

A Sleepover With Shannon

I love this girl named Evan, she lives back in Texas, and she and I have known each other since we were 2 years old. We almost never get to see each other but when we finally do we try to make the most of it.I know Evan has nothing to do with my other friend Shannon and our last sleepover, but I just wanted to mention her. Anyway, Shannon is my best friend from NY and she's super nice.
And we are both afraid of the dark, see. But we're also afraid of burglars breaking in and killing us, so our dark fear did not help at all. My hair is such a mess at night.

So anyway, we couldn't sleep at all. We tried a lot of methods of trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep, and one of them was taking my old blue blanket and sleeping on the floor.

But that didn't help, so we tried some more stuff, but finally we gave up and just started to read. As you can imagine, it's pretty hard to read in the dark, and we couldn't turn our lights on for fearing we'd disturb a parent. After 10 minutes we gave up and decided to sneak downstairs, but first we had to be brave enough to open the door.
In the end I had to open it, and I almost screamed when I opened the door in a karate-pose but caught myself when I realized my parent's door was closed, and they're sleeping whenever their door is closed. We crept down the stairs, paralyzed at every creak when the house was settling. But then we heard a thump, and then a scrape. Our little minds jumped to conclusions. (Shannon's taller than me, but she's nine years old btw)
We trampled each other up the stair and locked ourselves in my room, then we closed the window blinds and locked the window and hid in my closet for a half hour until we went scouting, and it turned out to be my cat going after the catnip mouse, and I was so angry at it that I got my bat and...
Shannon choked me until I dropped the bat, but we did it so silently that nobody heard us. I turned the volume way down on the TV and we started watching, but not before refilling the pepper spray. Suddenly, the TV switched off, and we couldn't get it back on. We were freaked out and we just decided to pig out. Then we ran upstairs, when we ran into somebody on the stairs.
Luckily, I had grabbed a certain something in the kitchen, but long ago mom had confiscated all the flashlights because of a certain.... incident.
We were kind of insane from being tired and scared, so we just broke into something that I kind of regret.
We danced.

--Jane



(PS: Happy new year! 2011!!!)

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Well, The Snow Is Back.

Really back.
It started this morning, the blizzard, and 2 feet of snow are yet to come. It's so much you can't even go outside anymore!
Yah, no playdate for me. (I'll write another blog post on my friends later, I promise) So I was sitting, making snowballs and wondering what happened to the ashes of my previous snow contraption after mom burned it to the ground (she fainted, got a torch, and FOOM! She didn't appreciate the machine, I believe) and I made a snowangel. Then I went inside for a movie.Frosty scares me bad, man.

ME: AAA! AAA! Run, children! Run! It's alive! Santa, don't open that door!

I got the idea that Frosty was scary from a comic strip, but seriously.

After 30 seconds of the movie, I decided to go back out inside. I had a sinister plot planned to kill Ana by throwing snowballs at her.

Projected Experience:

Actual Experience:
It was so much after that that I discovered that it was too much for us to be outside. So Ana and I headed in and warmed up by the fire, and then I sat in my Christmas present wrapping and preparing my new fishtank.

Yes. The new fishtank triumphs over the old one. Dad had to move the 5-gallon fishtank to the floor, and the fish were not happy about it. I think one got sick, because... do fish have tongues? Because something came out of a fish's mouth and went right back in. Was it that rude to stick it's tongue out at me? They're so hungry (like the puppy) it may have sucked it's vomit back in, however. Anyway, we're working on the fishtank right now. Maybe I'll write another post that may or may not be illegal. (See previous post)

Happy Holidays!

--Jane

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Is It Illigal To Write Two Posts In One Day, Or Am I Just Bored?

I think I'm just bored.

Oo! Wait! I know this one...! 1 blog post plus 1 blog post equals:

Now that proves just how confused I am! It should say: "Bumbling mass of utter confusion over whether or not I write 2 blog posts." Yeah. I am really bored. Anyway, I have these sketchbooks. I have four of them and the fourth one is in progress, but they're private.

That's your cue to barge into my business. Unfortunately whenever another fellow of mankind dares to utter a word in baby talk just the way I do, I sort of go into shock.



But luckily, my dignity comes back just in time.Merry Xmas!


--Jane

It is 3:00 in the morning

Hello!
It's me again, and I am waiting for 6:30 to arrive so I can go downstairs and open my presents. It's a rule in our family that I have to wait till' 6:30 to get up because last year I didn't sleep a wink so I was REALLY grumpy in the morning, especially when I discovered Mom had accidentally spilled pepper on my eggs.
And no offense to all you people out there who like peppers on their eggs, but I don't, so I refused to eat them and ate one piece of toast to last me the entire morning. (It's amazing how good my drawing is at this dark hour) That was the year I got the drum set from the grumpy Santa. This is me right now:
Yeah. Pretty bad, right? My stomach is growling.

Doesn't that blue face just plainly say:

"My stomach is hungry. I will eat. Mussttt.... eeaaattt..." *DEPRESSED ABOUT HOUSE INSURANCE*

Oo! Now this PINK one says:

"I am a dummy, and I am lost. Did you make sure to order plain pizza? Mushrooms. Now YOU'RE da dummy in our relationship." *WONDERS WHY HE IS IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE*

Now THIS one is easy:

"I am happy. ...my face hurts." *SMILES AND SCARES LITTLE CHILDREN*

Now, I want to talk to you all about Christmas presents.


WHOA THERE, TEXAS!

You'll get them at 6:30. Now go back to bed.

Anyway, the presents are downstairs right now. I just know it. He wouldn't wait till' 3 to deliver, so I'm hoping that there's gonna be surprises like last year's PlayStation 3.

Wow, I'm so hungry.

Y'know, Christmas is about


not getting.
--Jane

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Last Year's Christmas

Twas' the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring... Except for me. I was up and waiting last year, and you will not believe what happened. I think I fell asleep and dreamed most of it, but, man... it seemed so real!
Yes. Rudolf had been spotted. The moment I had heard jingle bells I had started to fall asleep but when I imagine all that chocolate in my stockings... I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. Unfortunately mom had hid the paint roller and the bucket of grease I had bought so i could grease the chimney, and she said no expanding the chimney either. I sat on the floor and waited for Saint Nick to come down through the chimney.
Suddenly, a puff of black soot came up in my face and I peeked under the fog and saw two buckled boots.
SANTA!!!!!
After my teddy bear walked in dragging my unicorn after being hurled out of the room when the fog hit, things started to get really weird... and painful, too.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! ...eve.

--Jane

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

It'd Better Snow On Christmas Or I Am Moving To Alaska

This past summer has been a little TOO warm because I feel like I've never seen snow before.
I decided today that last week's half inch of snow was not enough.
I stormed in the house for a cold drink, and asked mom if she could turn the weather to snow for me. She said no, but she said that she could put me over a vent and turn up the air conditioning and shower me with crushed ice. I said no thank you and went outside. Then something wonderful happened. I saw my garden. It was dead. My little mind raced to conclusions and I burst back inside.
ME: *pant pant* MOM!!!

MOM, not looking up from doing the dishes: What is it, sweetie?

ME: It's winter!!!

MOM: Oh my gosh! Is it snowing?! I need my camera! Camera! Who has my camera?

ME, infuriated: NO mom! I wish it was snowing, but winter is here because the garden is dead! Right?! RIGHT?!
MOM: Ohh. Janie, it's December, and it's 90 degrees. We're not going to have serious winter for a while, hun.

ME: You'll never understand.

So then I raced upstairs and peer out the window, waiting for frost to form on the lawn or for snowflakes to fall.

MOM, entering without knocking: Puppy, there's not going to be any precipitation except rain for a while.

ME, angry tears in eyes: But... but... that's... a big word... and... and... tomorrow is Christmas Eve! It just has to snow! It just... just... HAS TO!
MOM: Sorry, puppy.
And then she left. My mind snapped and I decided to MAKE it snow. I wrote down a plan on some blue paper and showed mom.
I quickly gathered up some material and began to build my contraption.

I think I imagined something like this:

And best of all:

And yet best of all:

So there you have it. I worked all afternoon, and when I finished I called mom outside to see.

This is somewhat the look on Mom's face
:
I thought that look was of pure overwhelment. So I decided to emphasise the effect.



I think she fainted.


--Jane